Well it's a Sunday evening, I'm depressed because the three-day weekend is coming to an end, and I have yet to start any homework that is due Tuesday. Sometimes I hate myself for my love of procrastination. However that path has brought me here so I can write a little on the bloggy blog and then potentially being productive! I make no promises.
Well let's see...last time I believe I stopped right before diving into the crazy, so let's start there. The best part about the crazy is that crazy knows no age. That means surprises! Let's start with the youngin's and work our way up.
Last week, in first grade, I ended up having to teach the sound "H". It doesn't seem too hard but the thing is in Spanish the 'h' is always silent. They never actually make the "huh" sound. It's hard to type the sound but you know it, like hat, hello, hooker. Anyways, when Spaniards say h's, they usually ignore it or make it really gutteral...like they're trying to get snot out of their throats. So "hello" turns into *coughhack*ello. Anyways I always start pronunciation by asking what words they can think of that start with the letter. I ask, "what words start with H??" I got hello, hi, hat, hamburger, and then finally one of them eagerly raised her hand and said "HORE!!" My head kind of cocked like a pug because I was trying to figure out whether I should be appalled/proud that she knew the word whore, or the more probable alternative was figuring out what word she intended on saying...I looked at Isabel, the teacher, and she nodded her head knowingly and said "Horse." I said "OHHHHHHHHHHHHH....horSSSSSSSSSe. Yes! Horse....horSe..." What a stupid H, hahaha. That one cracked me up but the weird one came later when I was teaching the letter 'P' this way. I asked a different first grade class "what words start with P?" I got pookeen (pumpkin), purple, pink, penguin, Penny (the name of the Penguin), I taught them the word poodle, and finally one of the smarter kids yelled "poonk!!" Poonk? I asked how you spell it....P-...U-....N-....K. Poonk.
Ohhhhhhhh........punk.
WAIT. How the hell do you know the word punk?! "I see-ed it in Spongebob."
......hahahahah. Thanks Nickelodeon. Then all the kids wanted to know what a poonk was and that's one of those words you can't really describe, in English or in Spanish. So we moved on.
And I will too. Moving on to third grade. My favorite third grade class is the one with the hot teacher (once more, hot teacher who is married and now pregnant. Well his wife is...anyways he's awesome and soon might teach me how to juggle). They never cease to crack me up, and they never ever know they're being funny. This is the class that brought you "hide and sex" and "I love jew...wait, I no want say that." This time, however, they brought their A-game. We were playing "20 Questions" to practice the W-question words (who what when were why) as well as speaking in only English....which is really difficult for them. Anyways my rules were a bit different. First, we changed it to 10 Questions because I would never win if we had to reach twenty. Then, I made them tell the class if it was a person, place, or thing. After that the kids had to ask five questions and after asking five, they could begin to guess what the object is. This worked really well except when it came to people. One of their favorite questions was "What color is it?" How do you answer that if it's a person? They usually said "lots of colors" but my favorite was when I gave the little boy from Manchester the word "toes". For SOME reason the kids just cannot remember the word toes. They know fingers. But in Spanish, there isn't a word for toes. Instead, they call them "fingers of the feet". So everytime I give them the word toes, they want to say "fingers of the foot." Knowing he wouldn't do that, I thought it was a nice little challenge. So anyways, the question pops up. "What color is it?" And he said "peach". After the class fought for five minutes about what a peach is, the boy tried to explain in Spanish that in English people refer to skin-colored, usually, as peach. One of the little girls that gets really excited goes "OH! I know!! It's meat!!" We both looked at her like she was insane and she kept insisting "MEAT!! Jess, ees meat color! Ees dee color of dee meat!!" We both tried to explain no, it's skin. It's a part of the body, so it's skin-colored. She got really adamant and kind of testy yelling "jess! I know, ees meat!" That's when it hit me. The word for "flesh" in Spanish is "carne". "Carne" is also the word for meat. Therefore instead of saying flesh-colored, it came out meat-colored. The teacher was laughing so hard she almost cried, meanwhile I got a little nauseous thinking about meat-colored toes. Gross...anyways nobody guessed toes, so I won that round, and we had a really good laugh after class. Meat-colored. Ugh.
The next class was just as good. I figured we wouldn't really have anything exciting happen because we were just reading a story and little paragraphs about food around the world. One story was about a boy named Chen from Japan who eats noodles with chopsticks. The first bridge we had to cross was the word "noodles" because they have never heard of that before and usually just call it "spaghetti". Every student that tried to pronounce it stumbled and screwed it up, which was hilarious to me. "Chen eats his no-dles...no-odles...noddles..." basically every which way except noodles. Then I asked the class "what does Chen use to eat his noodles? A fork?" Nobody knew the answer but Eva, the teacher, leaned over to the kid who is a bit slow and whispered the answer to him so he could participate. He eagerly raised his hand and I happily called on him...that silence when nobody knows the answer is super embarrassing. That's when he yelled "Chopdicks!!" .....aaaaaaaand fail.
I guess since things are always so crazy at school, I never write about the whole cultural learning thing that is supposed to enrich study abroad experience...I sometimes I complain about things that annoy me that Spaniards do, but that's not exactly discussing cultural differences. I also haven't travelled much, because I'm too exhausted and somewhat poor (saving my money for future purposes, being an adult haha) but I've had cultural diversity forced on me in various ways. First of all, nothing says adaptation like dating somebody from somewhere completely different than you. Valentine's Day was not the first clash of cultures for me & the boy from Peru. I didn't think it'd be that big of a deal, and it isn't, but I'm definitely learning a lot, for better or worse. For example, I've been trying to cook more lately and have been discovering wonderful recipes that I'm really good at making (which is absoultely shocking if you knew how little I know about food in general). It's also hard because you have to make EVERYTHING from scratch here, because there aren't many choices at the grocery stores. If there are things like that, they're expensive as hell because they're considered "foreign". There is no "throw in a can of soup"...you have to MAKE the soup first. Thus far I have made terayaki stirfry, quesadillas, chilli, salsa, and recently chicken broccoli alfredo & chicken noodle soup. I feel SO accomplished. Anyways I have cooked for Walter a couple of times now (I'm morally opposed to this concept but I think my roommates are sick of me shoving my recipes at them) and it's always had interesting results. First, I just made chicken. He was very appreciative and promised me that next time, or soon, he'd make me dinner. I asked about typical Peruvian food because honestly I can't think of any food I've heard comes from Peru. I kind of assumed it'd be like Mexico...you know, south of the border kinda deal...tacos, burritos, rice. The whole shebang. Let me rephrase. I **hoped** it would be like Mexico. He mentioned a lot of ricey things, with a lot of fish that was not cooked (but not sushi apparently), and also rabbit. Indian rabbit. Atleast that is what I translated...I made a not-so pretty face when he said rabbit, because to me rabbits are little floppy-eared pets, not food. He didn't realize my gross face meant "that's gross" and thought I didn't understand rabbit, so he says "you know...Bugs Bunny? Looney Tunes. Rabbeet?" I know, I know, rabbit. Ugh. So I tried not to be too judgey...that didn't necessarily work...but we moved on. He told me he'd research some food because he doesn't quite remember how to cook it and we'd do that soon. After he left I was filling my roommates in on the date and one of them said, "ooh I love Peruvian food. Is he going to cook you guinea pig??"
Um, no. Shut up....don't even joke about crap like that.
He did not even MENTION guinea pig. I told her the weirdest thing he talked about was rabbit, that was apparently really popular, but...no guinea pig. I forget how the realization came about, but basically we Googled it and Indian rabbit IS the Spanish translation for guinea pig. It's not a rabbit. IT IS NOT BUGS BUNNY. That is TOTALLY different. I think I spent an entire week in mourning and thoroughly disgusted because....well, duh, GUINEA PIGS ARE PETS, NOT FOOD. Not to help the situation, my roommate Katie thought it'd be cute to throw out there "hey one of the little girls I give private lessons to has a guinea pig...want me to grab it so he can use it to make you dinner?" NO. Pets are friends, not food.
Anyways, I've been super lucky because he's been really busy and therefore putting off the whimsical dinner date when he tries to feed me furry little rodent pets and I have to explain myself and my Western cultural differences. Other fun things I've stumbled upon is that a.) he thinks that chicken noodle soup is Mexican and b.) cats have 7 lives in Spanish. I'm not sure how a language difference changes the wive's tale but...he's convinced he proved it to me because we found a song on Youtube that sings about it. 7 vidas tiene un gato. I'm surprised he doesn't want to cook that for dinner too. Okay that wasn't fair.
I've also learned a lot about Germans this past weekend. I've learned that they are total assholes. Ugh, it's getting late. I think I'll go do some minor homework now and leave that story for the next time.
Tootles, amigos!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Recipe for a Princess
I'm slacking a little but I have been battling the "first year flu" business...aka every other week I get sick because my munchkins like to pick their noses and NEVER wash their hands and then maul the crap out of me whenever I'm in eyeshot. They've also started kissing me on the cheek which I think is so adorable...but then look where I am. Sick again. This past "cold" has been fun because I've been suffering body aches with a touch of slight fever. And I'm running out of American medicine...yikes!
Okay, okay, let's get to business. I think I'll start with the good first and end with the crazy. Haha, that was optimistic. It's all crazy. But we'll start with how I'm awesome first. In my 3rd grade class on Tuesday, Eva (their teacher and the one who is pregnant) has the kids hardcore pray every morning. Now, I teach at a Catholic school so every class says the Lord's prayer and the Father, Son & Holy Ghost kiss thing, but Eva has one student each week that goes to the front of the class and asks the students why they want to thank God or why they want to ask God for His help. My first few times in class I thought they would all pray for me and thank God for me, you know, something cute (my kids are so cute) but they never did and after the first four months I gave up hope. They ask God for the weirdest things too. I always pray that my family, friends, and pets are happy, healthy, and safe. Always. It's a good go-to prayer. All encompassing. They pray that their mom doesn't hurt anymore from her hangnail, or that Eva gives birth soon (and they have also prayed for gender, haha), or that they can go out of town on the weekend. Their favorite "thanks" is usually thanking God that their Mom's headache went away (and I think we all know that school can be thanked for that). I should have seen it coming, though, because if we all remember back to Thanksgiving, they could hardly think of three things to be thankful for, let alone think of new things on a daily basis. BUT IT FINALLY HAPPENED!! Last week I was drinking my water, trying to slyly put on my chapstick (they all gawk at me no matter what I do) when I heard my name in one of their prayers!! They said, "I want to thank God for giving us Chelsea and because she is here with no family and no friends so she can teach us English." My first response was ummmm....just because you don't SEE my family and friends doesn't mean they don't exist...but then I was overwhelmed with excitement because it was just so cute!!!! And then I had to pretend like I didn't understand a word they said because I'm not supposed to understand/speak Spanish haha. That triggered a chain of prayers for me because everybody wanted some attention so I also got "thank you for Chelsea spending her time with us" and "I want to pray for Chelsea and the other teachers because they are good teachers and put up with us". Can I get an Amen? Aaaaaaaaaaamen.
Besides that, my kids appreciate my looks too (and not in an inappropriate way anymore!!!) This past week, my first graders were learning adjectives...big, small, ugly, beautiful, long, short, dirty, clean. They have cute little actions to practice and now everday without fail, I enter the room, they all shout "Hello Chelsea!!!! How are you!?" and I say "I'm fine, thank you, and you?" and they answer "I'm fine thank you!!" Sometimes they like to keep saying "...and yoooou??" until I ignore it and move on. The funny thing is that every school, I'm gathering, teaches this introduction. The problem is the student's don't understand what it means. So if I say "I'm good, thanks!" they stare at me like I just whipped out some Mandarin and tried to recite the Pledge of Allegiance. They tend to sit there for about 15 seconds and then say, "....I'm fine thanks, and you?" I repeat "good!" and they stare a little more and say "....fine? you?" They absolutely don't understand what they're saying and they think "fine" is the only appropriate answer. Here's a classic example of this: one day I was walking to lunch and usually the kids wait on two sides of the hallway. One side is the lunch line. And the other side is the punished side...aka kids who couldn't stand still long enough to get food so they have to wait until everyone is done to eat. *DUN DUN DUN* So anyways it just so happens the punished kids are always the most eager to talk to me, because they're isolated on the wall with no friends and are technically not allowed to move (but when they ambush me and get yelled at for disobeying the punishment, they say they just wanted to talk to me in English...little brats. They use me but I like the attention haha). One day one of my fourth graders, Silvia, runs up to me and says hello and I say "hello, how are you?" Her response: "I'm fine thanks, and you? But.........I no fine. Fine no. I here *points to wall*...*whispers in Spanish* I'm punished...so I have to stay here. No fine" and shakes her finger at me. At that moment I vowed that somehow I would teach them how to properly converse with someone in smalltalk without having to backtrack or follow their monotonous routine. Pray for me, haha.
Anyways, I shocked the shit out of my students on Monday because I decided to curl my hair. I woke up feeling awful but I had decided I was going to try to shower at night so I could sleep in a little more. Doing that, however, makes my hair flat so I have to curl it to make it look decent (sorry boys reading this, I swear I'm done with the beauty tips). Anyways I thought it'd be good to look cute even though I felt like death and hope it evened out. So I go to class and Mondays are the day of 1st graders, who literally worship me, and as soon as I walk in they start yelling at me about my hair. "Chelsea...ees beautiful!!!" or my personal favorite is "Chelsea!! Beautiful.....jew!!" and they point to me. It's so freaking adorable. I am so worried I'm gonna kidnap a few of them one of these days and try to smuggle them home with me. They're so damned CUTE. Wanna see how cute? Check out this video. This is them practicing their adjectives with a song: (p.s. wait til they get to beautiful...and the kid on the left side in the middle on the end is my favorite kid of all...HE'S SO ADORABLE...he usually salutes me)
Do you see how I tear up literally everytime they compliment me?? They're so freaking cute. I adore them. Anyways Monday was a stressful day for them because while I curled my hair, Isabel, the other teacher, decided to straighten her hair. Her hair is usually naturally really curly so she never ever wears it straight. It took us about five minutes to get them to accept the fact that we'd switched places. Then, in another class later, one of my students complimented my hair (by that time it was after lunch and I was used to their surprise) and I said thank you but she ran up to me wide-eyed and started yelling, pointing, "Chelsea!!!! Princess!! Chelsea...jew...preencess!! Jew are preencess!!" Eva & I cracked up but all of the class got annoyed because they were vehemently agreeing. Later, we stopped by her husband's class to drop off her books and this little guy, Manuel, turns and literally gasped saying (in Spanish) "Chelsea..............how gorgeous you look today...." His tone of voice was absolutely hilarious because he was so deeply affected by my little change. So, basically, after over fifteen compliments and comments about my hair, I'm never going to leave it straightened again, haha. Princess Chelsea...bow to me ;)
Physical looks is how you get to the younger kids but I've found the older kids are a bit tougher to charm. They respond best to candy and when you level with them. My older kids love to talk and are mischevious as hell. They love passing notes and whispering and gossipping and secrets. Unfortunately for them, I feel like I'm not yet an adult, but I'm not really a kid either. I'm in an awkward phase where I want authority (so I see it as a personal challege to be nosey and confiscate all of their notes) but I still want to be their friend. Last week, Colonel Nun wanted me to explain to fourth grade about April Fool's Day. I told her I didn't know much about the history, or why we celebrate it, but that I'm the queen of pranks and I could just tell them about my pranks? She couldn't possibly want that...buuuut she did. So I spent an hour telling my fourth graders about all of the rotten pranks I've pulled for April Fool's and all of the other pranks I'm potentially thinking about pulling. It got to a point, about five minutes in, where the boys would literally stand up and applaud me after every prank and yell "another one!! another one!!!" I bowed a few times, when appropriate. They don't understand a sorority, nor the fact that I lived with 50 girls, but they could appreciate it when I told them that I prank about 20 people each year on April Fool's. They have April Fool's here, kind of, right after Christmas...but from what they explained it's more of a passive holiday where you say, like, "oh look! It's raining outside! Better wear your rain jacket!" and then you go outside and it's not. *womp womp* Or...."wake up! It's time for school!"...but it's Saturday. *womp womp* Needless to say, with the bar set so low they were bound to have their minds blown. And they were. Half way through the nun came up to me and goes "Chelsea...jew are a berry bad baby!! Jew are a hooligan!! NOW BABIES, SUT UP AND TAKE NOTES!!! Jew can use dees wit jour familees!!" Half the kids said they were too terrified to use them with their families because their parents would kill them. Fair enough. Now, every day, all of the fourth graders ask me to tell them another one of my pranks. And they know the word prank. I loooove it.
These things always end up so long...ugh. It's already time for class so I guess I'll save the crazy for next time. Hail Princess Chelsea!
Okay, okay, let's get to business. I think I'll start with the good first and end with the crazy. Haha, that was optimistic. It's all crazy. But we'll start with how I'm awesome first. In my 3rd grade class on Tuesday, Eva (their teacher and the one who is pregnant) has the kids hardcore pray every morning. Now, I teach at a Catholic school so every class says the Lord's prayer and the Father, Son & Holy Ghost kiss thing, but Eva has one student each week that goes to the front of the class and asks the students why they want to thank God or why they want to ask God for His help. My first few times in class I thought they would all pray for me and thank God for me, you know, something cute (my kids are so cute) but they never did and after the first four months I gave up hope. They ask God for the weirdest things too. I always pray that my family, friends, and pets are happy, healthy, and safe. Always. It's a good go-to prayer. All encompassing. They pray that their mom doesn't hurt anymore from her hangnail, or that Eva gives birth soon (and they have also prayed for gender, haha), or that they can go out of town on the weekend. Their favorite "thanks" is usually thanking God that their Mom's headache went away (and I think we all know that school can be thanked for that). I should have seen it coming, though, because if we all remember back to Thanksgiving, they could hardly think of three things to be thankful for, let alone think of new things on a daily basis. BUT IT FINALLY HAPPENED!! Last week I was drinking my water, trying to slyly put on my chapstick (they all gawk at me no matter what I do) when I heard my name in one of their prayers!! They said, "I want to thank God for giving us Chelsea and because she is here with no family and no friends so she can teach us English." My first response was ummmm....just because you don't SEE my family and friends doesn't mean they don't exist...but then I was overwhelmed with excitement because it was just so cute!!!! And then I had to pretend like I didn't understand a word they said because I'm not supposed to understand/speak Spanish haha. That triggered a chain of prayers for me because everybody wanted some attention so I also got "thank you for Chelsea spending her time with us" and "I want to pray for Chelsea and the other teachers because they are good teachers and put up with us". Can I get an Amen? Aaaaaaaaaaamen.
Besides that, my kids appreciate my looks too (and not in an inappropriate way anymore!!!) This past week, my first graders were learning adjectives...big, small, ugly, beautiful, long, short, dirty, clean. They have cute little actions to practice and now everday without fail, I enter the room, they all shout "Hello Chelsea!!!! How are you!?" and I say "I'm fine, thank you, and you?" and they answer "I'm fine thank you!!" Sometimes they like to keep saying "...and yoooou??" until I ignore it and move on. The funny thing is that every school, I'm gathering, teaches this introduction. The problem is the student's don't understand what it means. So if I say "I'm good, thanks!" they stare at me like I just whipped out some Mandarin and tried to recite the Pledge of Allegiance. They tend to sit there for about 15 seconds and then say, "....I'm fine thanks, and you?" I repeat "good!" and they stare a little more and say "....fine? you?" They absolutely don't understand what they're saying and they think "fine" is the only appropriate answer. Here's a classic example of this: one day I was walking to lunch and usually the kids wait on two sides of the hallway. One side is the lunch line. And the other side is the punished side...aka kids who couldn't stand still long enough to get food so they have to wait until everyone is done to eat. *DUN DUN DUN* So anyways it just so happens the punished kids are always the most eager to talk to me, because they're isolated on the wall with no friends and are technically not allowed to move (but when they ambush me and get yelled at for disobeying the punishment, they say they just wanted to talk to me in English...little brats. They use me but I like the attention haha). One day one of my fourth graders, Silvia, runs up to me and says hello and I say "hello, how are you?" Her response: "I'm fine thanks, and you? But.........I no fine. Fine no. I here *points to wall*...*whispers in Spanish* I'm punished...so I have to stay here. No fine" and shakes her finger at me. At that moment I vowed that somehow I would teach them how to properly converse with someone in smalltalk without having to backtrack or follow their monotonous routine. Pray for me, haha.
Anyways, I shocked the shit out of my students on Monday because I decided to curl my hair. I woke up feeling awful but I had decided I was going to try to shower at night so I could sleep in a little more. Doing that, however, makes my hair flat so I have to curl it to make it look decent (sorry boys reading this, I swear I'm done with the beauty tips). Anyways I thought it'd be good to look cute even though I felt like death and hope it evened out. So I go to class and Mondays are the day of 1st graders, who literally worship me, and as soon as I walk in they start yelling at me about my hair. "Chelsea...ees beautiful!!!" or my personal favorite is "Chelsea!! Beautiful.....jew!!" and they point to me. It's so freaking adorable. I am so worried I'm gonna kidnap a few of them one of these days and try to smuggle them home with me. They're so damned CUTE. Wanna see how cute? Check out this video. This is them practicing their adjectives with a song: (p.s. wait til they get to beautiful...and the kid on the left side in the middle on the end is my favorite kid of all...HE'S SO ADORABLE...he usually salutes me)
Do you see how I tear up literally everytime they compliment me?? They're so freaking cute. I adore them. Anyways Monday was a stressful day for them because while I curled my hair, Isabel, the other teacher, decided to straighten her hair. Her hair is usually naturally really curly so she never ever wears it straight. It took us about five minutes to get them to accept the fact that we'd switched places. Then, in another class later, one of my students complimented my hair (by that time it was after lunch and I was used to their surprise) and I said thank you but she ran up to me wide-eyed and started yelling, pointing, "Chelsea!!!! Princess!! Chelsea...jew...preencess!! Jew are preencess!!" Eva & I cracked up but all of the class got annoyed because they were vehemently agreeing. Later, we stopped by her husband's class to drop off her books and this little guy, Manuel, turns and literally gasped saying (in Spanish) "Chelsea..............how gorgeous you look today...." His tone of voice was absolutely hilarious because he was so deeply affected by my little change. So, basically, after over fifteen compliments and comments about my hair, I'm never going to leave it straightened again, haha. Princess Chelsea...bow to me ;)
Physical looks is how you get to the younger kids but I've found the older kids are a bit tougher to charm. They respond best to candy and when you level with them. My older kids love to talk and are mischevious as hell. They love passing notes and whispering and gossipping and secrets. Unfortunately for them, I feel like I'm not yet an adult, but I'm not really a kid either. I'm in an awkward phase where I want authority (so I see it as a personal challege to be nosey and confiscate all of their notes) but I still want to be their friend. Last week, Colonel Nun wanted me to explain to fourth grade about April Fool's Day. I told her I didn't know much about the history, or why we celebrate it, but that I'm the queen of pranks and I could just tell them about my pranks? She couldn't possibly want that...buuuut she did. So I spent an hour telling my fourth graders about all of the rotten pranks I've pulled for April Fool's and all of the other pranks I'm potentially thinking about pulling. It got to a point, about five minutes in, where the boys would literally stand up and applaud me after every prank and yell "another one!! another one!!!" I bowed a few times, when appropriate. They don't understand a sorority, nor the fact that I lived with 50 girls, but they could appreciate it when I told them that I prank about 20 people each year on April Fool's. They have April Fool's here, kind of, right after Christmas...but from what they explained it's more of a passive holiday where you say, like, "oh look! It's raining outside! Better wear your rain jacket!" and then you go outside and it's not. *womp womp* Or...."wake up! It's time for school!"...but it's Saturday. *womp womp* Needless to say, with the bar set so low they were bound to have their minds blown. And they were. Half way through the nun came up to me and goes "Chelsea...jew are a berry bad baby!! Jew are a hooligan!! NOW BABIES, SUT UP AND TAKE NOTES!!! Jew can use dees wit jour familees!!" Half the kids said they were too terrified to use them with their families because their parents would kill them. Fair enough. Now, every day, all of the fourth graders ask me to tell them another one of my pranks. And they know the word prank. I loooove it.
These things always end up so long...ugh. It's already time for class so I guess I'll save the crazy for next time. Hail Princess Chelsea!
Monday, February 21, 2011
Learn some English, tiny dancer...
So, some of my classes are always wonderful, and some are always taxing...and most of the time I can never really anticipate the chaos that is going to happen on any given day, but one of my fifth grade classes hardly ever lets me down. Each new unit in the English books has a section that crams all of the vocabulary into one weird & basically non-sensical song...and I usually skip the song, because while the kids love to jam out to the music, they tend to skip over the whole singing part, I end up trying to learn a dumb song in 2 minutes, and looking like a moron when I get the words wrong. And nobody else is messing up with me because they're all perfecting their air guitar solo (which does not require singing).
Anyways, in this one fifth grade class, though, I thought I'd let them listen to the song, because they could handle it. I considered it a leap of faith. One student LOVES dancing, however, and offered to come to the front of the class and perform some original choreography. The class all moaned, being quite familiar with his moves, but I thought I'd give him a shot.
This is the genius that followed:
Sometimes the kids make my job really easy. The kids think I'm gonna put the video on Youtube in the year 2029. That was their interpretation of "when you've forgotten all about it, I'll show it to you". This happened last Friday and they've definitely already moved on to bigger and better things like Virginia, the ghost that lives in the bathroom and appears in blood if you say her name three times in the girls bathroom. I'll update on that one soon, potentially later tonight. Until then, enjoy the music :)
P.S. for those of you without Facebook (CLOE), here is a link to my photo album with pictures of my little ones making Valentine's, as well as pictures of the school's chapel. Quite beautiful.
Anyways, in this one fifth grade class, though, I thought I'd let them listen to the song, because they could handle it. I considered it a leap of faith. One student LOVES dancing, however, and offered to come to the front of the class and perform some original choreography. The class all moaned, being quite familiar with his moves, but I thought I'd give him a shot.
This is the genius that followed:
Sometimes the kids make my job really easy. The kids think I'm gonna put the video on Youtube in the year 2029. That was their interpretation of "when you've forgotten all about it, I'll show it to you". This happened last Friday and they've definitely already moved on to bigger and better things like Virginia, the ghost that lives in the bathroom and appears in blood if you say her name three times in the girls bathroom. I'll update on that one soon, potentially later tonight. Until then, enjoy the music :)
P.S. for those of you without Facebook (CLOE), here is a link to my photo album with pictures of my little ones making Valentine's, as well as pictures of the school's chapel. Quite beautiful.
Monday, February 14, 2011
...and then Colonel Nun wore a leather skirt. (Valentine's Day, too)
These past weeks I've felt like I've been in a bit of a rut...however, even in the ruttiest of ruts, I find Spain will never let me down when it comes to surprises. They're waiting around every corner and when you least expect it, they jump out at you. Hard. That's why they're called surprises, after all.
Imagine my surprise when the Nun wore a pleather knee length skirt with her usual sweater vest and collared shirt last Friday. When I say pleather, I'd like to you to invision a nice leather couch in a legal office or a modern living room...then take that material, wrap it around Ms. Hardass, and my eyes half out of my head with my hand placed over my mouth. I mean, I have tact, don't get me wrong, but my hand was firmly located as such because the students aren't slow on the uptake, either. And they don't have the tact I do.
Student #1: Teacher!! Teacher! I like jour skeert. Ees beautiful!
Colonel Nun: SUT UP BABY, ees no of jour beesiness.
Student #2: ooooooooooh how pretty!! I love it!
CN: Ees a skeert!! LEAVE IT ALONE. Have you never seen a skirt before? Mind your own business.
Student #1: but teacher, ees new? Eet look new. I haven't seen it before. It's very sexy.
CN: What do you mean sexy!? SUT UP you have no idea what you're talking about!!
Student #1: no, it's just that you look like a warrior....o someteeng. LIKE JOAN OF ARC!
This verbal fight went on for about ten minutes and it was awesome. I tried to act unamused and overly interested in a loose string on my shirt. I was probably smirking really badly. You just can't whip that out so randomly...
Anyways, as I write this it is Valentine's Day. The meaning of which has completely changed for me, though, since I've been here. To me, Valentine's Day means being bombarded on my lunch break by 6th grade boys and looking like a creepass, insulting unsuspecting innocent boys, being subjected to confusing racism, stopping children from eating candy in 30 seconds, trying to explain weird slang to first graders, being lured into a false sense of security, and heart-shaped pizza while watching people struggle not to die on a freaky island. I will explain those now.
I think I'll start with school related incidences first. Tim & Jeri sent me 7 bags of Sweetheart candies, the ones we all know and love with the little phrases on them, to share with my students. Unfortunately and fortunately, at the same time, the company has decided to revamp their candy. That means that not only have they enhanced the flavor (they now actually have flavors for each color instead of tasting mostly like chalk), they have also added unique and random phrases. I didn't know this, so it was hard to figure out how to explain what the hearts said in some situations. First, I learned not to give children candy with a purpose without prefacing the intentions. I handed all of the kids a heart, and before I could even make a sound they had popped it in their mouth and it had made its way half way down their esophagus. So I had to dole out a few more and say "okay LOOK! FIRST BEFORE YOU SWALLOW. READ THEM! They say things!" Once they realized that they thought it was the coolest thing in the world, even though only one out of every 10 kids actually understood what theirs said. Because now the little hearts say "Tweet me" and "My boo". WHAT? Sometimes I swear the world is against me. Whatever happened to a simple little "I <3 you" or "Girlfriend". I can explain that. I'm morally opposed to Twitter, plus the fact that Spaniards pronounce it "Tweet-tare"...that was a nightmare. So I'd much rather they just eat them. They love candy. So so much. And it makes them quiet so I do too. So so much.
As I type this on my lunch break, I'm sitting at the cute coffee shop eating chips & guacamole. Chances are my school is serving fish for lunch (yay...) so I thought I'd treat myself to a little snack. I'm usually safe here but for some reason, all of my 6th grade male students have bombarded the window I'm sitting by and start pounding on the window when they see me. Not only does that scare the piss out of me, every time, but everyone else here is judging me and giving me those Spanish disapproval looks. The same ones I get when I wear flip-flops, or when I don't wear a jacket in weather over 50. Whatever. Old bitties. Also, Valentine's to me has come to mean the one day my older students decide to learn the word "boyfriend". As in "Chelsea...uh.........do you have a boyfriend??" All the girls ask innocently, hoping I do (because if you don't you're a lost cause in this country) and the boys ask for various motives...sometimes they're being little perves, and sometimes I think they have a crush on me. Those are the fun ones, haha, because they get so excited when I say no. And the girls just look at me like I told them I killed their dog. Needless to say, I'm so glad I only had to cross that bridge once today (only one class of older kids). My other kids are making little heart-shaped Valentines. Nobody made them for me though, little rats...guess I exhausted my fame when they made me their Christmas cards, haha.
Anyways, speaking of boyfriend-ish things, I still don't have one, or really want one, but I've been dating a guy for awhile now. He's very nice and got me a couple of things for Christmas/my birthday so I thought (since I suck really badly at buying presents for boys) I would get him a little Valentine's Day present. P.S. He's from Peru. A country that does not celebrate Valentine's Day. And I figured that but I'm always happy to get prezzies, plus it's chocolate...so...I didn't think it'd be a bad idea. I gave him the box, he spent 5 minutes trying to untie the bow I put on it (made of sparkly yarn....ugh) and was really confused when he opened it. At first a wave of embarrassment went over his face, and then that look I'm now so used to, the no-boyfriend disappointment face my girls give me, the look like "you just killed my dog". So I tried to explain it's Valentine's Day and people usually get whoever little flowers or whatever, so I just got him a simple box of chocolates. [Forrest Gump loved that gift. Just for the record..] He started speaking in English, so I knew I was in big trouble (because he doesn't actually speak English), and all he could manage was "jew are berry bad." Why. How. What?! What'd I do. Seriously. I told him I thought it was more appropriate than roses or a teddy bear (which was an option on the table), would he have preferred that? Luckily he's used to me being snarky but in hindsight it probably wasn't the best time to say that. He got really upset and told me he felt awful because he didn't know it was Vday, and they don't celebrate it in his country, and he should have been the one getting me something. I told him he got me prezzies for my b-day so we were even but he didn't really like that answer either. So I ended up somehow insulting him, hurting his feelings, and he didn't really get over it until my roommates stormed in, slightly tipsy, trying to borrow my shoes and take pictures. Why is Valentine's Day so damned stressful...
Anyways, back at school, I hauled my Valentine's supplies to the teacher's lounge and they were all kinda like, "Oooooh right today is Valentine's Day. We don't celebrate that here." And I tried to level with them and said "I know, I don't really celebrate it, mostly because the guy I'm kind of seeing is from Peru and apparently they don't do that there either..." I'm not sure what response I expected, but the response I got knocked me off my feet. One of the teachers I work with, Maria, looks at me like I just spoke in Chinese and says, "you're dating a guy from Peru? How does that work? I mean, that's funny because you're so white and have blonde hair, and if he's from Peru then he's got tan skin and black hair. How did that work out? It'd look so funny!" Ummmmmm......haha, what the hell?? I think the best part is that she was genuinely sincere, like she was concerned for me for some reason. There's honestly no good response for that, either, so I just laughed confused and grabbed some coffee really quickly. Next time I meet a guy I'll make sure I'm not pastier than him. Hello, Ireland, I'm comin' for yo gingers.
Needless to say, I feel beaten up by today, haha, and I wish I could be home to spend it with my sorority sisters watching movies in the Informal, cuddling on the couch and eating Mexican food. Instead I'm forcing my friend to come over and watch Lost. He got this flier in the mail for some "romantic special" from the pizza place where they'll bake your pizza into a heart for free, so I think we're doing that for a laugh and gonna hopefully find out more about that damned hatch (I'm only on Season 2, haha...don't tell me anything!! I already peak ahead online too much). So, from the bottom of my teeny tiny broken and battered heart, Happy Valentine's Day. <3 haha.
P.S. recap: leather skirst are never okay.
Imagine my surprise when the Nun wore a pleather knee length skirt with her usual sweater vest and collared shirt last Friday. When I say pleather, I'd like to you to invision a nice leather couch in a legal office or a modern living room...then take that material, wrap it around Ms. Hardass, and my eyes half out of my head with my hand placed over my mouth. I mean, I have tact, don't get me wrong, but my hand was firmly located as such because the students aren't slow on the uptake, either. And they don't have the tact I do.
Student #1: Teacher!! Teacher! I like jour skeert. Ees beautiful!
Colonel Nun: SUT UP BABY, ees no of jour beesiness.
Student #2: ooooooooooh how pretty!! I love it!
CN: Ees a skeert!! LEAVE IT ALONE. Have you never seen a skirt before? Mind your own business.
Student #1: but teacher, ees new? Eet look new. I haven't seen it before. It's very sexy.
CN: What do you mean sexy!? SUT UP you have no idea what you're talking about!!
Student #1: no, it's just that you look like a warrior....o someteeng. LIKE JOAN OF ARC!
This verbal fight went on for about ten minutes and it was awesome. I tried to act unamused and overly interested in a loose string on my shirt. I was probably smirking really badly. You just can't whip that out so randomly...
Anyways, as I write this it is Valentine's Day. The meaning of which has completely changed for me, though, since I've been here. To me, Valentine's Day means being bombarded on my lunch break by 6th grade boys and looking like a creepass, insulting unsuspecting innocent boys, being subjected to confusing racism, stopping children from eating candy in 30 seconds, trying to explain weird slang to first graders, being lured into a false sense of security, and heart-shaped pizza while watching people struggle not to die on a freaky island. I will explain those now.
I think I'll start with school related incidences first. Tim & Jeri sent me 7 bags of Sweetheart candies, the ones we all know and love with the little phrases on them, to share with my students. Unfortunately and fortunately, at the same time, the company has decided to revamp their candy. That means that not only have they enhanced the flavor (they now actually have flavors for each color instead of tasting mostly like chalk), they have also added unique and random phrases. I didn't know this, so it was hard to figure out how to explain what the hearts said in some situations. First, I learned not to give children candy with a purpose without prefacing the intentions. I handed all of the kids a heart, and before I could even make a sound they had popped it in their mouth and it had made its way half way down their esophagus. So I had to dole out a few more and say "okay LOOK! FIRST BEFORE YOU SWALLOW. READ THEM! They say things!" Once they realized that they thought it was the coolest thing in the world, even though only one out of every 10 kids actually understood what theirs said. Because now the little hearts say "Tweet me" and "My boo". WHAT? Sometimes I swear the world is against me. Whatever happened to a simple little "I <3 you" or "Girlfriend". I can explain that. I'm morally opposed to Twitter, plus the fact that Spaniards pronounce it "Tweet-tare"...that was a nightmare. So I'd much rather they just eat them. They love candy. So so much. And it makes them quiet so I do too. So so much.
As I type this on my lunch break, I'm sitting at the cute coffee shop eating chips & guacamole. Chances are my school is serving fish for lunch (yay...) so I thought I'd treat myself to a little snack. I'm usually safe here but for some reason, all of my 6th grade male students have bombarded the window I'm sitting by and start pounding on the window when they see me. Not only does that scare the piss out of me, every time, but everyone else here is judging me and giving me those Spanish disapproval looks. The same ones I get when I wear flip-flops, or when I don't wear a jacket in weather over 50. Whatever. Old bitties. Also, Valentine's to me has come to mean the one day my older students decide to learn the word "boyfriend". As in "Chelsea...uh.........do you have a boyfriend??" All the girls ask innocently, hoping I do (because if you don't you're a lost cause in this country) and the boys ask for various motives...sometimes they're being little perves, and sometimes I think they have a crush on me. Those are the fun ones, haha, because they get so excited when I say no. And the girls just look at me like I told them I killed their dog. Needless to say, I'm so glad I only had to cross that bridge once today (only one class of older kids). My other kids are making little heart-shaped Valentines. Nobody made them for me though, little rats...guess I exhausted my fame when they made me their Christmas cards, haha.
Anyways, speaking of boyfriend-ish things, I still don't have one, or really want one, but I've been dating a guy for awhile now. He's very nice and got me a couple of things for Christmas/my birthday so I thought (since I suck really badly at buying presents for boys) I would get him a little Valentine's Day present. P.S. He's from Peru. A country that does not celebrate Valentine's Day. And I figured that but I'm always happy to get prezzies, plus it's chocolate...so...I didn't think it'd be a bad idea. I gave him the box, he spent 5 minutes trying to untie the bow I put on it (made of sparkly yarn....ugh) and was really confused when he opened it. At first a wave of embarrassment went over his face, and then that look I'm now so used to, the no-boyfriend disappointment face my girls give me, the look like "you just killed my dog". So I tried to explain it's Valentine's Day and people usually get whoever little flowers or whatever, so I just got him a simple box of chocolates. [Forrest Gump loved that gift. Just for the record..] He started speaking in English, so I knew I was in big trouble (because he doesn't actually speak English), and all he could manage was "jew are berry bad." Why. How. What?! What'd I do. Seriously. I told him I thought it was more appropriate than roses or a teddy bear (which was an option on the table), would he have preferred that? Luckily he's used to me being snarky but in hindsight it probably wasn't the best time to say that. He got really upset and told me he felt awful because he didn't know it was Vday, and they don't celebrate it in his country, and he should have been the one getting me something. I told him he got me prezzies for my b-day so we were even but he didn't really like that answer either. So I ended up somehow insulting him, hurting his feelings, and he didn't really get over it until my roommates stormed in, slightly tipsy, trying to borrow my shoes and take pictures. Why is Valentine's Day so damned stressful...
Anyways, back at school, I hauled my Valentine's supplies to the teacher's lounge and they were all kinda like, "Oooooh right today is Valentine's Day. We don't celebrate that here." And I tried to level with them and said "I know, I don't really celebrate it, mostly because the guy I'm kind of seeing is from Peru and apparently they don't do that there either..." I'm not sure what response I expected, but the response I got knocked me off my feet. One of the teachers I work with, Maria, looks at me like I just spoke in Chinese and says, "you're dating a guy from Peru? How does that work? I mean, that's funny because you're so white and have blonde hair, and if he's from Peru then he's got tan skin and black hair. How did that work out? It'd look so funny!" Ummmmmm......haha, what the hell?? I think the best part is that she was genuinely sincere, like she was concerned for me for some reason. There's honestly no good response for that, either, so I just laughed confused and grabbed some coffee really quickly. Next time I meet a guy I'll make sure I'm not pastier than him. Hello, Ireland, I'm comin' for yo gingers.
Needless to say, I feel beaten up by today, haha, and I wish I could be home to spend it with my sorority sisters watching movies in the Informal, cuddling on the couch and eating Mexican food. Instead I'm forcing my friend to come over and watch Lost. He got this flier in the mail for some "romantic special" from the pizza place where they'll bake your pizza into a heart for free, so I think we're doing that for a laugh and gonna hopefully find out more about that damned hatch (I'm only on Season 2, haha...don't tell me anything!! I already peak ahead online too much). So, from the bottom of my teeny tiny broken and battered heart, Happy Valentine's Day. <3 haha.
P.S. recap: leather skirst are never okay.
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