Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Starting With A Bang...AKA Newark Sucks

Well as you can probably tell by the title, my grand trip back to Madrid has not 
gone exactly as planned. It started with a few hiccups and weird situations in 
Indianapolis and then went down hill as soon as I landed in the hell-hole that is 
Newark (although I also think this could be some sort of universal karma because I
recently referred to Newark [before my journey] as the armpit of America. I feel like
the world is trying to prove to me I was right.) The bright side of this is that I spent 
a lovely (albeit unnecessary) 15 hours relaxing in a nice hotel and I'm getting a 
jump-start on this year's blogging. 

So, Indianapolis. I knew when I left that my bag was about 5 lbs. overweight but I 
wasn't sure if it was a heavy 5 lbs. or a light 5 lbs...our scale has been on the fritz
lately. I had already been rearranging at home but somehow every time I took 
something out to lighten the load I also found three other things I wanted to put in.
Murphy's Law. Anyways I finally gave up on the rearranging and figured I'd get it 
straightened out when all of my bras and belongings were scattered around the 
Indianapolis International Airport floor. That tends to weed out the non-imperative
 items pretty quickly. 

My mom dropped me off and while she was parking I navigated the check-in 
counter. My bag weighed 56 pounds and the attendant told me that she'd give me 
some wiggle room of 51.5 but any more than that she couldn't allow. The first thing 
I knew I had to take out was a container of Miracle Whip I had packed...laugh all 
you want but it's one of the few things in my suitcase that was actually FOR me. I 
packed enough candy and chocolate for Paco & my other friends/private class 
students that I wouldn't be surprised if TSA were to call me in for questioning to 
decide if I was legitimately trying to smuggle candy into Europe to establish some 
sort of black market candy exchange. Anyways that weighed 3 pounds but I still 
needed to take one more thing out. I took out some jeans that weren't imperative 
for me to have and my mom could easily send to me. That took the suitcase down to 
50 pounds exactly so I told the attendant "well hey, if I still have 1.5 extra pounds I 
want to see if I can fit in a pair of wedges I brought with me." She was patient but 
somehow both shoes put the bag up to 52 pounds. She insisted, "Here! Just put the 
one shoe in and you're set! It's right at 51.5 with one shoe so you're good! Just leave 
the one shoe!" She literally shut the bag on my hand, zipped it up and slapped the 
sticker on it. I was finished there so I had my two carry-on bags and an extra purse 
of things that didn't fit...a pair of jeans, Miracle Whip, and one shoe. While we were 
waiting in the food court I decided I could smuggle the extra purse with me and at 
worst case scenario could shove the jeans and shoe into my other bag and put the 
purse in my rolling carry-on. (I also suspect that this hoodwink could also be 
another karmic reason I'm not in Madrid yet...) 

I got through security fine...got on the plane fine. We were told there were problems 
in Newark but that we were going to sit on the runway and hope that a window 
would open where they would let us land. We sat on the runway (I was napping) for 
an hour and a half, getting updates every 20 minutes or so telling us they were 
delaying more and more, when they finally told us that Newark had blocked all 
planes coming in to Newark due to "bad weather" and was not allowing us to arrive 
until 8 p.m., meaning we couldn't leave until 6 p.m. from Indianapolis. For the 
record everybody checked the weather in Newark and it was sprinkling. A rain 
shower paralyzed an international airport for 4+ hours. I waited in the ticket 
exchange line because my flight out to Madrid was at 8:35 and I couldn't imagine 
making it, especially with their horrible record of delaying us. I told the ticket guy 
that I would rather stay in Indianapolis over night and hang out with my family & 
sleep in my own bed and such instead of being stuck for an extended period of time 
in the Newark airport. He assured me, vehemently, "Noooo no no no, we're leaving 
right at 6:07, if not earlier, so you'll have 45 minutes to get to your gate. It's not in 
the same terminal but if you don't dawdle you'll have plenty of time. You'll 
definitely make it." And refused to change my ticket. Asshole. ASSHOLE. 

I waited in the Indy airport for a couple of extra hours and finally boarded. We 
landed in Newark at 8:15 p.m. and it took ten minutes to get my rolling carry-on. I 
literally sprinted through the terminal to get on the shuttle bus and made it to 
Terminal C from A by 8:30. I ran up three flights of stairs with my 40 lb. carry-on 
and two purses and was briskly walking to my gate when an Arabic man with one 
of those three-car go-carts stopped and asked where I was going. I told him C125 
and he said it was far away. I had 3 minutes. He tried to blast through all of the 
people but the go-cart didn't have a horn so he just yelled ''BEEP!!! 
BEEEEEEEEEEP!! BEEP BEEP! EXCUSE ME, BEEP!!!!" all offended like they didn't respect him...um.....duh. He dropped me off and I jogged over but saw a man from 
my flight in front of me who didn't have to wait on the carry-on luggage. He said 
we'd missed it. By about 5 minutes. 5 effing minutes. Ugh. We waited on the service 
desk (luckily there weren't many people in line when we started) and the guy in 
front of me was able to work something out because he was in business class. I, 
unfortunately, was/am not and had more troubles. The woman said the best she 
could do was a flight at 5:15 p.m. the next day to Rome, and then a flight from 
Rome to Madrid. I'd arrive Sept. 4 in Madrid at 11:30 a.m. local time. That means I 
would have to wait from 9 p.m. to 5:15 p.m. the next day in the airport. I think 
under different circumstances I would have accepted that the delay was "weather 
related", as asinine as that was, and stayed at the airport...but I had told that man 
in Indy, at least 3 times, that I didn't want to risk it and he assured me there would 
be no problems. He all but promised. He was cocky and unwavering. I broke down 
and couldn't even talk to the woman at the desk because I was trying hard not to 
cry and she kinda just sat back and told me to take my time...it was so 
embarrassing because every time I thought about staying at home another day and 
sleeping in my own bed and not having this issue that could have been avoided and 
missing it by 5 minutes...it made me more and more upset. So I cried for about a 
whole minute until I could at least catch my breath and explain. I told her I offered 
to switch flights. And the man wouldn't let me. So this wasn't like the other people 
that were shit out of luck...she needed to rectify the situation and the least she 
could do was give me a hotel room to stay and relax in because her company had 
robbed me of a day with my family when I was leaving for 4 months. I think she 
thought that I was having a nervous break-down so she tried everything she could 
but the system literally wouldn't let her give me a hotel voucher because the flight 
was listed as weather-delayed and they weren't allowed to give vouchers for it. I 
didn't want something for nothing but I felt very wronged and needed something to 
make me feel a little better. She called someone and potentially illegally got me a 
voucher for a hotel. By this time there were 20 people or more in line waiting (my 
situation took like 20 minutes to solve), watching me ugly cry and not capable of 
talking, and she told me under her breath that I wasn't allowed to tell anyone she 
was doing it because they're not supposed to do it and everyone behind me would 
want one too. She wouldn't even tell me how to get to the airport...she wrote down 
the instructions on scrap paper and asked if I understood. It was some James Bond 
shit going on but I really appreciated her extra effort. 

Now I'm at Newark again after spending the night in the hotel, the Ramada, and 
need to figure out my next steps. I have my boarding pass to Rome but I don't have 
my boarding pass to Madrid. I also only have an hour layover in Rome...and am not 
sure if that's doable and setting me up for more failures. Worst case scenario, 
though, I get stuck for an extended time in Rome...and that wouldn't be that 
horrible. I promise if I get stranded in Rome I'm gonna go get some amazing pasta, 
gelato, and Amaretto. But for now there's a place here called Smashburger that 
numerous passengers have been raving about so I'm gonna get that for lunch and 
figure out my next moves. Sometimes I wish my life could just be boring and normal...but I guess we'll just have to see what happens next!

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