Okay so...I really suck at writing.
This is literally the only New Year's Resolution I've not followed
through with this year...and I feel bad about it. The problem is that
I've been really stressed out the past two months (an entire two
months) and when I haven't been stressed out I've been out of the
country. I don't even know where to start on this entry...
Let's start with my stress. First, I
finally had to make a decision about staying in Spain or moving home
and becoming a normal functioning adult. When push came to shove I
decided I would leave my option open here and plan on coming back
while still looking for a job at home over the summer. The problem is
that I don't have my teaching license so I can only apply at private
schools...I'm gonna see what happens but plan on coming back. The
only problem is that I don't know if I can actually stand another
year here at my school. I love 7/8 of my school but that 1/8 is a
bitch, and that bitch's name is Preschool. I tried to talk rationally
with the head nun about reducing my hours next year and she told me
my only option was to continue with preschool or change and teach the
middle schoolers and high schoolers. Gag me. I would rather gouge my
eyes out with a dull spoon. That's like one of those horrible “would
you rather...” scenarios. Would you rather teach primary and
preschool (dun dun DUNNN), or middle school and high school? Well I
dunno, Chelsea, would you rather cut off your right arm or your left
leg? Would you rather be blind or deaf? Would you rather get shot in
the face or bleed out over a two week period? …..the answer is
neither. I hate all the options. I want my normal life back. That's
not an option though. Turns out the head nun is, ironically, a
complete sadist whose spirit animal is an angry small child with a
magnifying glass who loves burning and torturing the insects that are
smaller than them. Basically she's Sid from Toy Story...with an
unattractive bob hair cut. She loves saying “no” and being in
charge. She gets her jollies from making everyone else's lives
unhappy. And she's a freaking nun. Here's the best part....the other
nuns HATE her. The normal, cute, granny like nuns. They abhor her as
well...I mean please think of how demonic you'd have to be for a nun
to trash-talk you....that being said I love when the nuns trash talk.
They don't even refer to her by name anymore...most of us just call
her “HER....” with a severe eye-roll. I pissed her off last week
because she decided she really wanted me to go up to secondary school
next year and teach the older kids. I told her that I wasn't open to
that idea and if she forced me then I'd rather go home........that
didn't sit well with her. The thing is everyone at school has to
abide by what she says because there is no other option. I wasn't
trying to give her an ultimatum, it's just how it is. I was already
on the fence about staying so if you're going to make my life hell
I'll go hang out on the greener grass. She's been giving me death
looks ever since. It's lovely.
Anyways....I have already bought my
ticket back here so I'm probably going to have to at least stick it
out until Christmas. And one of the reasons I want to stay is so I
can revisit Rome and London. I have something shocking and
controversial to say but I have to admit it...
….I think I liked Rome more than I
like London.
Okay now that I've rocked your
world...it's true. LOOK AT THAT FACE! I don't think I've ever been happier in my life. Everything is better in Italy. It's like the most
magical place on Earth. Rome is beautiful. The people are sweet,
warm, welcoming, and wonderful. The food is to die for and I won't
even start on how attractive all the men are....not to mention the
fact that they all seemed to think I'm equally attractive and that is
just plain overwhelming. Being back in Madrid is almost painful
because it pales in comparison. I was strongly considering looking
into teaching English in Italy for a year...like really really
strongly...but in the next few years I want to come home for good and
start my life and I am so positive that if I tried to swim in that
sea I would never leave. Ever. Ever. Ever. Never ever. I'd find some
ridiculously gorgeous Italian to marry, make bazillions of guido
babies, get fat on spaghetti and die an absurdly happy woman. (Bet that second one is gonna give Tim a coronary....sorry Dad :)
But, unfortunately, I want more from
life than that. Shockingly.
What the hell is wrong with me??
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