You know how on all good TV shows, at the end of the season, shit absolutely hits the fan and you cannot wait another 3 months to find out what happens? I feel like that's what happened to me last week. The week before Easter is Semana Santa, or Holy Week. I might have explained this so I apologize if I repeat myself somewhere. Basically, Semana Santa is Spring Break. We had last Friday off, this whole week, and then Monday off. And if that's not magical enough, we also get the following Monday off for some reason. I'm super excited, too, because my friend Veronica is coming to visit!
However, I feel like my students, anticipating the break, decided to reverse the old adage and decided to bring me the storm before the calm...bringing me my very own unbelievable batshit crazy Season Finale before my week of relaxation (and 60 page thesis...) Little jerks.
Sigh. Deep breath before I begin. Okay so...I believe you all know Jeri sent me 60 Easter eggs (the plastic, opening kind) and I had practiced with my Friday class so my littlest ones would not miss out on the fun. I didn't know at the time, but she had also sent me a box filled with Jelly Beans, 3 Musketeers, and more Jelly Beans...which was lucky for me because candy here is crappy and expensive. I bought little hard candies for them (the kind you might get at a restaurant or a hotel) and I also had some Valentine's candy left over (the little hearts with the writing on them) so I stuffed one hard candy in the eggs and then a few of the hearts. The hearts had good flavor...but...they were kinda hard. I figured the kids wouldn't notice, though, I mean it is still sugar...they just can't chew them. It'd be fine. (Do you see a problem coming? An ominous little black cloud forming? I didn't!)
So I go to school...Mondays I have two 1st grade classes (little over-eager adorable kids), a 2nd grade class (DIE!!!), a 6th grade class (almost teenagers [read: almost hell]), and a 3rd grade class (usually excited and good). I was excited most for 1st grade because they cherish the ground I walk on. Anyways I go to my first class and give them the same spiel as before about Easter and the Easter Bunny. I explained he didn't have a car or boat or sled to come to Spain before they could ask. I was rockin' it! .....until one of the kids concernedly raised his hand and asked, "Chelsea...is the Easter Rabbit a boy or a girl...?" Where do they come up with those questions?! I said, "well....I've never looked. But since I'm the Easter Bunny this year, I guess it's a girl!" My answers never satisfy their curiosity. Like....ever. Anyways they go look for the eggs, they're all excited...we managed to find all of the eggs (miracle!) and I tell them they can open their candy and eat only one piece, and save the rest for recess. They're all excited and trading flavors and such, while I'm reloading my eggs for the next class. One girl comes up excitedly with something in her hand and shrieks, "Chelsea!!! Se me ha caido un diente!!" I'm thinking....oh please don't say what I thought you just said...please oh please..."CHELSEA!!! MIRA!!! SE ME HA CAIDO UN DIENTE!!" Translation: LOOK! My tooth just fell out!!
And I immediately think, "DAMN those stupid ass Valentine's candies..." Shoulda known...
Luckily in first grade teeth fall out more frequently than they actually wash their hands, but I still felt kinda bad. The good news is she wrapped her tooth, is gonna get money under her pillow, and the champion kept eating the rock-hard candy anyways because it was made of sugar.
My last first grade class was fun as well, but one of the students in that class asked me if I had laid the eggs myself......ummm......no.
6th grade. I hid the eggs all over the school. I hid them in groups of three in various locations. I gave one to Juliet to put in her classroom, I put one by the cafeteria, one under the gymnasium, one in Isabel's classroom, one in the girl's bathroom in the 1st grade hallway, one in the Resource classroom, and finally one on the top floor by 4th grade in the hallway. Then I gave the students sheets of paper with directions on how to get there. "Turn left...go down the stairs...turn right...go straight along..." etc. using their vocabulary words. It was awesome, except my teacher forgot that I had asked her to do that, or she didn't understand my English. Either way, she was like "um...I don't know if they can go throughout the school like that just hunting randomly"...and I told her, well, they have directions..."oooooh, well..I guess we can try it and see." Uh, thanks. I only spent 3 hours planning this. Ugh. Anyways that sort of went off without any problems...some groups found their eggs easily and were done in about ten minutes. Others...not so much. I found one group running in a circle up and down stairs because they weren't following the directions correctly. Another group was literally running into a wall. They were searching the wall trying to find the eggs. I went up to them and asked what the problem was, and upon reading the instructions again, I had accidentally written "turn right" instead of "turn left"...I'm not dyslexic but I definitely have my moments.
That was bad, but eventually this activity got worse. The next class I did it with, one group couldn't find their eggs because the older kids had stolen them from their spot. Another group was running in circles again and I realized that I had made another left/right error...which is funny, because I had given the exact same directions to the previous class and they had managed to find their eggs. Also in that class was a diabetic kid, and I forgot to grab him some sugar-free gum. I told him not to eat the candy and I'd bring him his own the next day. Find out later he ate it anyways and tried to convince his teacher that nothing would happen. The last class is my most rambunctious class and their teacher was tired so she left to go get coffee. I figured okay, well...no big deal...this will be fine.
No, no it wasn't.
Instead of reading the instructions I gave them, this class literally ran throughout the entire school looking for the eggs. Like mad chaos. And instead of collecting the eggs they were supposed to collect, they grabbed whatever eggs they could find. The two groups that were actually following directions found that there were no eggs because their classmates had stolen them already. Other kids were complaining the directions made no sense, even though 2 classes before them, who aren't as good at English, had managed to do just fine. I was livid. So livid. They ruined Easter.
2nd grade wasn't so bad. 3rd grade was disappointing because they didn't listen to a word I said. Instead of listening, they were counting the eggs around the room. So when I said "Don't touch...stand up and just look" everybody charged at the nearest eggs and busted them open like herd of rhinos. So frustrating. Also, I told them my story about the Easter Bunny, too, and why he can't come to Europe (still so proud of my impromptu B.S.ing) when Gabriel, the kid from Manchester, raises his hand and says, "nuh-uh, that isn't true, he comes to England!" Shut up, Gabriel, you're ruining kids' dreams here!!! Made me look like a dumbass. I was glad, though, because he's used to doing Easter egg hunts over there and now that his family has moved here, he doesn't get to do those things anymore. I let him find 2 eggs instead of just one.
And Colonel Nun, I bet you're wondering? Well Tuesday she had me go downstairs to the playground and hide them. She said, "go hide them in a small area so they can't get distracted and wander off"...um...?? First of all, the "playground" is just 2 basketball courts in a closed off square. How are they going to wander off? It's a confined space? And small space?? That defeats the purpose. Ugh. So I trudge down the four flights of stairs, hide the eggs all over the playground anyways, and haul ass back up the four flights of stairs to class. I told her they were ready and she tells me, "well, they still have to receive their grades and I'm not done talking so..I don't think we'll have time. Maybe you should go back downstairs and collect them." I go back downstairs and do just that.
I found out that day what the most depressing activity on earth is. The most depressing thing you can do is hold an Easter Egg Hunt, all by yourself on an empty playground. Not only that, but you've got to find all the eggs that you, yourself, hid. Womp womp.
I guess the good news is that day I surely got my exercise in, climbing up and down all those stupid stairs.
The next day the nun actually remembered and had time for the activity. I told her it was probably best to hide them in the classroom. I'm not sure who had more fun, the kids or the nun. She was kind of wrecking the activity because she kept walking around the classroom and shouting "oh!! There's one!!!....oh!!! There's one as well!!! I hardly even saw it!!....oh you put one there?? That's so tricky!!" SHHHHHHHHHHH. They're HIDDEN for a reason. It ended up being a fun class but I lost another egg...to be honest I think I put it in the window sill and the wind blew it off. Someday somebody's going to find many jelly beans!
Well, I think that covers everything except my private classes and 5th grade. And those are a whole other ballgame so I'm going to continue Part 2 later. Just writing about all of this has exhausted me all over again, haha.
Here is a link to the pictures my teachers took of the Easter insanity. Hope you enjoy!
https://picasaweb.google.com/108231909138452173118/EasterSchool?authkey=Gv1sRgCPad2unMgci7Iw&feat=directlink
Check back soon for Season Finale, Part 2!!
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