Before I start, I'd like to note that Spanish television is absolutely incredible. As I write this, I'm watching Alf. Earlier today I had 2 projects due so I procrastinated until the last minute and eventually cranked them out watching Growing Pains and Hey Arnold! I've missed my Spanish T.V...ever since everything started snowballing before break, the apartment has been crammed (not in a good way) and I spent most of my time in my room or trying to nap whenever possible.
That being said, that's why I haven't written anything in over a month. Things got suuuuuuuuuuuper busy and then I was able to come home over break, and then I got dragged back here unwillingly and I'm stuck here for awhile, haha. I love it here, don't get me wrong...but it's been a rough transition.
For starters, the adventure back sucked even worse than the first time. The Asian guy at the Washington airport was rude & unhelpful and I swear he was HAPPY I was supposed to be stuck overnight in Dulles (properly named, by the way)...like one of those people who watches Maury to feel better about their lives. I missed my connecting flight taking me from Washington D. to Madrid, so I finally convinced him to let me go to London, then to Madrid. On the 7 hour flight to London, I tried to sleep and the guy in front of me insisted on stretching his legs a lot, which usually meant I would fall asleep and wake up to him standing over me, "stretching his legs", which really meant watching me snooze. He was so damned creepy. I caught him standing over me, staring, 4 different times. His hair was really greasy too, which I think is an obvious sign of a mass murderer. Then, after landing in London and discovering the angry Asian man told me he booked me with the wrong company, I finally get on the plane and am excited to just get into Spain. On that 2 hour flight, I sat next to a very rotund man who looked a lot like Santa Claus and was the most annoying passenger that has ever breathed air on this planet. To begin, this flight was delayed because one of the engines was not starting. If you ask me, that's a pretty severe issue that should be corrected by switching planes. Instead the pilot non-chalantly got on the intercom and said (and I quote) "Hey guys, uh, sorry we haven't been in contact with you for awhile, one of our engines appears as though it isn't starting. We've been below with the crews trying to get it started but we're pretty sure if we just restart the system it'll be just fine and we can take off shortly." UH, PRETTY SURE!?!? It's the damned engine!!! It's what makes the magic in airplanes and makes them fly!! That's like saying "uh, I'm pretty sure this car can run with only 4 wheels". Yeah, it'll run, dumbass, just not very well...
I know that's a bit overdramatic but after all of the flying I ended up doing, I found myself having panic attacks and pondering the credibility and saftely of airplanes....think about it, how do 2 engines make a thousand bajillion pounds FLY?! I decided it's against physics. Especially when the tactic to lift off is to simply go faster. It's not like cars do that. When I accelerate faster, I don't fly. I'd probably just get a ticket.
That's not the point. Let's get back to Santa. So we're waiting...2 hours pass for this engine issue to resolve itself (the entire flight I was waiting to fall out of the sky and plummet to my death). While I was waiting for this, though, Santa created many unwanted distractions. The first was him passing out, 5 minutes after boarding, with his head thrown back, mouth gaping open, and snoring like a damned foghorn. No joke. The ENTIRE plane, including the attendants, were staring and judging. Every once in awhile he would snore so hard he would choke a little bit, and wake up...but he would blink twice, lay his head back in his broken-neck position, and immediately fall back asleep. Sometimes he would suck air in so hard it would rattle the uvula in the back of his throat...you could hear it so clearly you could count the amount of times it hit the walls of his throat hole. This was not the worst. I prepared myself for the worst, which was 4 hours of this melodious bullshit. Because we were preparing for take off (for 2 hours) we were not allowed to use electronic devices...i.e. my iPod. So I start reading my 2 Cosmos I brought along and prayed that just maybe God would kill us after all. 120 excruciating minutes later, we take off and are shortly able to use our electronic devices. I throw in my iPod and thank the baby Jesus. I fell asleep for a little bit but woke up half way through and noticed that everybody was staring at me again. I figured it was snoring Santa again, choking on something new. He was awake, though, reading a magazine. I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on so I take off my headphones and discovered what the big deal was. Santa, in all of his annoying glory, had forgotten his headphones (or maybe he is just so annoying he chose not to use them), and was blasting music from his iPhone. Yes, as soon as I remove my music, I am slapped in the face with an acoustic rendition of Alanis Morrisette's Ironic. Blasting from the seat separating me and his obese body. The worst part was that he was totally oblivious to all 12 annoyed passengers surrounding us. So we listened to two more songs from Alanis and eventually he ended the trip with a couple classics from Jewel. Bad things come in three so he of course had to end the trip with a bang. When we were advised to turn off devices, again, because of landing, I look over and see that Santa is blatantly disregarding this rule and instead doing just the opposite...he is texting somebody. WHILE WE WERE LANDING. As soon as he got signal he started texting away and even checking his e-mail. It is truly a miracle that I am able to even type this right now.
Anyways....I made it. I got my luggage. I pissed off some gypsy who put my luggage into the taxi that I didn't tip because I thought he was just being nice and helping and didn't realize he was a gypsy. Usually gypsies have talents. I didn't think his was a very good one...feigning kindness. That was the first slap in the face from Spain. I also had to unpack my bags, sadly realizing I packed WAY TOO MUCH clothes. :( July will have some sad surprises for me.
That was just my first day back. My delays also caused me to miss my two final projects for both of my master's classes, which are also the only grades in the classes. Life reeeeeeeeally hated me that day. That all worked out alright, though. Having returned on the wrong foot, however, has been rough. First of all, I'd like to revisit my complaints about public transportation. I'm pretty sure it's going to kill me. Literally. First of all, the buses are quickly moving death traps. I was riding to my private lessons Monday when I noticed the emergency exits. Do you know what those are? The windows. And as if that's not bad enough, the hammers were stolen from every. single. holster. Who steals an emergency hammer!? So if the bus spontaneously combusts, I'm screwed. Also, the drivers cut corners. Which....whatever. They also text while driving. I wouldn't care but apparently there is no penalty for destructive contact. My bus was flying around a corner to catch a light and we literally hit the curb, bounced back, and busted into the stop light on the corner. We bent the thing down to a 45 degree angle. I was mortified and as my brother says, my toes were hurting. I'm looking frantically at the post we were quickly speeding away from, the pedestrians we came 2 inches from hitting, and the bus driver and passengers that were all witness to the accident as well. NOBODY WAS PHASED. AT ALL. It reminds me of the time before when my host mom hit two pedestrians when she was backing up in Valencia. Her response was "oops, I didn't see them!"...and then she *quickly* threw the car in drive and sped off. I literally waited the entire ride for the bus driver to turn around and go back, or to get pulled over by the S.W.A.T. team, but that didn't happen. Because in Spain, it doesn't matter. No pasa nada.
This adjustment is harder than I ever imagined...but day by day, I'm getting used to it all again. Which is the scary part...
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