Please note the fashion math here: the short length (x) is equal to (y), her crotch. If x = y, then z (the outfit) is trashy. And probably drafty. Basic math.
Typical Spanish. I couldn't begin to tell you how many Spanish women thought I was checking them out because I was staring at their chest, squinting intently, trying to figure out what the hell their shirt said. In English. At first, I thought my English had completely gone down the crapper. But then I realized the shirt was like this one and didn't make any sense anyways. Translation FAIL.
Anyways...my point is that I would love to people watch at home and watch the crazies in the mall but I'm actually having multiple Thanksgivings here. Yesterday, I had lunch with my roommates and we had stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, green beans (I made them!!!), some sort of salad, and apple crisp that was INCREDIBLE. Then today, I had my NIE appointment (foreigner identification number appointment...I like to call it my green card) at 9 a.m. So Katie & I took a little stroll up the road to the office, I got to catch up with Rebecca because her appointment was today too, and then we went to this cute place called "CH y CH" (CH and CH) for hot chocolate and churros. (I like to call it CH and CH and CH...chocolate, churros, and CHelsea!! hah!) THEN I went with Katie to the post office to get my mail, which had many prezzies from Tim and Jeri (today Katie called them Jim and Terry by accident...it was pretty awesome. I might adopt it officially) including 420 candy canes, new glasses with my actual prescription, and the best thing yet:
CANDY CANE ANTLERS!!!!!!!!!!!! YES YES YES.
I can't wait to go to school with these things on. Seriously. Can't wait.
After the box, we went to this completely American "50's diner" called Mel's near our house. It was noon, but not open. So clearly it's not that American after all. We were American, though, as we banged on the window numerous times until we caught someone's attention and mouthed "What time do you open??" 1. Well fine, we'll be back, haha. So we went home, I called our internet company because they're liars and assholes, and finally Katie and Carissa drug me away from arguing with them so we could go get our Thanksgiving lunch. Spanish hamburgers are awful, by the way. Even if you go to McDonalds, they taste horrible. But Mel's is phenomenal. We had chili cheese fries, burgers, and a chocolate milkshake. It was gluttonous like Thanksgiving should be. And all of the waitresses wore really awful pastel pink satin dresses with hot pink Converse shoes. I'm also glad that's what Spaniards think America is like. I left my pink satin dress at home. The best part of the whole restarant, though was a sign on the wall that said "If you're not served in 5 minutes.........you'll be served in 9 or 10. Maybe 12. Relax." Now THAT is Spanish.
Anyways, I'm now waiting at home (recovering)...and a friend Isaac is over making pumpkin pie. I'm not sure where he found pumpkin but I'm pretty sure it probably cost him a few fingers and his first born child. After the pumpkin pie, I'm going to pretend to be doing homework until later tonight, when I'm meeting up with some other friends to have REAL Thanksgiving. With TURKEY!! IN SPAIN. I can't wait!! It's going to be awesome. I'm not going to eat for a week after this, atleast.
So. Luckily my Thanksgiving in Spain didn't suck like I thought it would! Also, I treated Thanksgiving like I did Halloween...I played holiday Santa and gave native Spaniards themed prezzies! On Halloween, I gave my baristas at the coffee shop spider rings, Halloween pencils, and body-part candy. They loved it. For Thanksgiving, I bought 3 boxes of assorted cookies. I gave one box to this cute girl at the bank down the street (she was really, really confused as to why I brought her cookies. I tried to explain without her I wouldn't have any money and I appreciated her help. She stood up and backed away slowly, I swear I thought she was going to call security, but then came around the counter to give me two kisses on the cheek. CUTE!!) Then I wrote my teachers at my school a letter about how I love the school and appreciate them including me in their mid-day drinking at the local bar and making me feel at home. I left them the other 2 boxes. It made me so happy to share Thanksgiving here because Spaniards are really not used to saying "thank you".
This also brings me to my teaching of Thanksgiving in my classes. I only had time to teach Thanksgiving in my 1st grade and 3rd grade classes, but that was plenty for me. The 1st graders loved coloring the turkey and the 3rd graders got consumed by looking up words in the dictionary. I'm really sad to report that my 3rd graders don't know how to use the dictionary. I made them write 4 things they are thankful for on feathers to paste on their fingers for a hand turkey. They know "family" and "friends" but couldn't get past it. I kept walking around the room and I saw that 6 different students wrote "sus", "v", and "con". Come again?? One girl wrote "adj family", "adj sister", "adj teachers". That's when I realized they would look up the words, and instead of understanding that the first thing that appears is the PART OF SPEECH, they wrote that down. Sus= sustantivo, or noun, v= verb, con= conjunction. Seriously?? Also the concept of a turkey is more foreign than pants in this country. I told the kids to draw legs and a beak. One student gave his turkey 4 legs (draw it, it's hilarious), another kid put 2 feathers on his thumb and index finger and 2 on his pinky and ring finger, leaving them middle finger open and super awkward, and another little girl gave herself a panic attack because she's an over acheiver and insisted on writing 8 feathers of things she is thankful for. She drew herself extra feathers and literally almost started crying when she realized there were 4 feathers for a reason. It doesn't always pay to suck up, haha.
In this class, though, the funniest thing happened. While the teacher was out of the room. Which left me to deal with the aftermath. Which is always bad. I was trying to write a paragraph in Spanish on the board about Thanksgiving to explain why we're making turkeys. I'm allergic to chalk, though, so I ended up sneezing pretty strongly. One of the kids in class said "Jesus", which is the response in Spanish. Another student wanted me to understand, so he, of course, said it in English. "I love jew!"
Oops. I started laughing and the worst part was there's a kid from Manchester in the class so he gasps and immediately hides his face because he's so embarrassed for the kid. Then he started "whispering" in Spanish "you said I love you!!! you told her you love her!!!!" So then all the kids know what he did and start laughing and pointing and he keeps saying "no!! ees dat...I no want to say dat!!" I told him it's okay, I love him too. I love all of my students, and you all love me too, right? This is my favorite part: when my students have no idea what I'm saying so they just nod and smile. Before I can say "awwww good" the kid from Manchester says "NO, I don't love you!!" and crosses his arms defiantly. I was insulted. No wonder people think the British are so cold. I tried to tell him you can love someone without loving them but that still didn't go over well. Oh well. Can't reach them all.
I'm also excited to say that I conquered my most annoying class. These 6th graders are so smart that no matter what I do, they're always talking and rude. I decided it was because they were a.) not challenged and b.) not interested. Therefore I had to think and figure out what could entertain them. On the way home from class one day, on the Metro, my answer came to me in the form of Britney Spears. I wrote the lyrics for them and made them fill in the blanks. To the song "Crazy".
They loved it. They loved it so much they actually changed the word "crazy" to Chelsea. And now they sing to me during recess. Also, the next week (which was the day before Thanksgiving) they worked together to change the lyrics to say "Chelsea, I'm so into you, you sacrificed to be here with us. Chelsea, you are so great. We're happy you are here with us"
Cute right?!? Next week I'm going to teach them how to rhyme, haha.
I'll leave you with this picture...me & friend Isaac trying to open the can of pumpkin with a bottle opener. Viking hat necessary. Happy Thanksgiving :)
Ask Katie to draw you one of her 4 legged chickens.
ReplyDeleteFor real, she did..in high school!
Happy Turkey Day, we love jew!