It's that time again...time for an update on my 4th grade classes, also known as "Colonel Nun dominates 4th grade." In my head.
I see it's been quite awhile since I've posted...so much has happened. So so much. I'm going to just start in and see how far I get, haha. Starting with the nun.
From reading my blog and all of its absurdities, you probably think that I have class with Colonel Nun about half of my classes or more, right? Guess again! She only teaches 4th grade English. I only have three 4th grade classes. So basically, she is only 1/6 of all of my classes, but 90% of all of the crazy I endure in Spain in general. General Nun.
Last week she was on a roll. In each of the classes I had with her, I had no voice (because I got sick and just completely lost it. Instead of letting me go home, on Thursday they made me yell over the students and by Friday I couldn't even squeak. That's right, mark your calendars...October 15, 2010, Chelsea could not talk at all.) Therefore, in the classes when I couldn't talk, I observed. Curiously. Here's what I noticed: Colonel Nun likes no nonsense. No erasers on the desk. No rulers. No fidgiting with glasses, school supplies, papers, books, or body parts. If you fidgit, and she catches you, you will be yelled at. Like this:
MY BABY!!! WHAT ARE JEW DOING?? WHAT EES DAT? POOT DAT OUT. YA!! POOT DAT OUT!! AWAY! AWAY! *insert yelling in Spanish where she compares student to a dumb animal* Jew know dat I love jew but jew are being eemposseeble!!
Great. So then the kids are scared shitless, but then the moment she turns around the get out their erasers again, or "rubbers" as they learn from British English (yeah awkward central) and their rulers and start stimulating baseball. If I was an 8 year old, I'd be terrified of the conservative nun and her incessant yelling. Hell, I'm 22 years old and I'm terrified of her.
She had another shining moment, though, later that day. Sometimes you get to a point and you learn how someone is crazy but you adapt. There is no adapting with Colonel Nun because she has a whole slew of new crazy she saves for rainy days. She was asking one of the girls in class a question (because the girl does not understand English hardly at all) and expected the rest of the class to sit quietly while she waited for the answer. It's quite overzealous, if you ask me, to expect the most rambunctious 4th grade class that has ever existed on Earth to sit quietly and patiently while one student cannot remember how to say "my name is ______." So it started.
MY BABY!! Look at me, my baby!! Look. What ees jour name? Tell me! What ees jour name? Jes, jew. JOUR NAME. My name ees Maria Jose. What is JOUR name?? JOUR name? Come on, baby, come on. Tell me.
Little impatient boy: pssst....your name is Natalia. Say "my name is Natalia."
SUT UP!! SEE EES SHY. SEE EES ONLY ESCARED BECUZ JEW ALL ESCARE HER, OKAY?? So tell me, baby, what ees jour name? [p.s. I'm pretty sure the other students are not the ones scaring her. Final answer.]
Little impatient boy: pssst....Natalia! Say "Natalia!"
JEW. SUT UP. AY SAID SUT UP!! Go out een da hall and theenk about what jour name ees, where jou come from and who are jour parents so jew are not confused about stealeeng de personality of dis leetle girl. GO. GO. My God, my God, we have got such a problem weeth double personalities here!!!!!
In case you didn't guess, the little girl never actually said her name, or anything at all. Maybe because she thought her "personality was stolen" by the other kid?? What the hell!?
In a different class, Colonel Nun was practicing clothes & vocabulary with the students. So she would go around quickly and fire off questions at random. This day, however, she developed that weird 's' thing like last time where everytime she would say an 's", she would instead say 'sh'. I'm not sure what brought it on, but I like to call this her "Sean Connery Syndrome"....or, well, "Sean Connery Shyndrome." Sho classh went like thish: "JEW, what ish jour favorite pet? JEW what ish jour favorite food?...
JEW, tell me baby, what ish jour favorite clothesh?
Boy: My favorite clothes is sart.
Bery good, bery good, jour favorite clothesh ish shart!
...........................why??????? WHY. Como se dice "shart is not an article of clothes" in Spanish? I don't even know how to say shart in Spanish to explain how it's inappropriate. Then again, I'd be talking to the Catholic institution that uses a doll named Poopie to teach culture and Spanish. That's right, all of my classes through 4th grade use this blue alien doll (he's cute) named Pupi (like pupil...except in Spanish you pronounce it "poo-peel") but Pupi for short. Imagine my surprise when, whilst playing an innocent game of "I Spy", I say "I spy something blue...what do you think it is Miguel?" POOPIE!!!! EES POOPIE!!! POOPIE EES BLUE!!!
....what?? So I just look at him horrified (awkwardly) and because I'm not agreeing with him, he just keeps shouting POOPIE!! POOPIE!! LOOK POOPIE EES BLUE!! Chelsea, look!! POOPIE! Luckily the teacher laughed and said "Pupi is the doll we use for our textbooks...I know it sounds odd in English...yes, Miguel, Pupi is blue. Stop shouting Pupi.
Sigh. So back to Sean Connery. While practicing food vocabulary and questions, the students started asking me about my favorites. So they ask me "Chelsea, what is your favorite food??" So I told them "well, I really miss Chinese food...there is this restaurant, called Panda Express...like panda bears? yes, panda...and they have amazing food that I miss here."
Ready for Colonel Nun's response? "Chinese food?? Jew like Chinese food?? Wang!! Where ees Wang?? Wang, jew hear? Chelsea....liiiikes....Chinese food....jess....just like where JEW are from. China. Can jew make Chinese food??
............it was awful on so many levels. I couldn't decide which was worse: the fact that she called out the Chinese kid for being Chinese, the fact that she assumed and asked him if he could make Chinese food, or the aftermath of the question where Wang did not understand so his face lit up because I was simply talking to him and he nodded his head vigorously without understanding what was going on at all. Sorry Wang :/ maybe sometime I'll cook you some of my eggrolls as a peace offering.
I can't remember if I've mentioned before, but Spain is really racist towards everybody. Especially the Africans and the Asians, though. Especially especially the Chinese. Chinese racism appears on TV on hugely popular shows and even in the basic language. I haven't had to deal with it in the classroom though (except for the Wang incident).
Wednesday, though, was a special day. Last Wednesday was impossible. First of all, during recess, 4 random boys walked up to me and asked "Chelsea, tienes novio??" (do you have a boyfriend?) ....why do you care? You haven't even hit puberty. Call me in 15 years. THEN I was talking to my 6th graders who adore me (it's cute, they write me letters in English...I'll post one sometime soon, it's hilarious) and they told me that this kid Alvaro has a crush on me. Except all they could say was "he...uh...he...he likes you. But you know, likes you. I like Joaquin, because he is very handsome. He looks like Justin Beiber." Quote, unquote. I died. About JB, not the kid who is 12 that has a crush on me. Although I will brag that the kid is super cute. Atleast he's not one of the weird ones. He's very smart and has adorable blue eyes. But, being 10 of course, he's not quite my type.
Anyways, after lunch, I go to Alvaro & the girls' English class. At first we were going over a flyer in the book that says "Competition: design a computer game that helps people and win a computer." I asked the class "what type of person would do this?" looking for the vocab word that was "computer programmer". Instead, Alvaro pulls his eyes back and says "someone Chinese!!".......................Christ. So I looked at him with my angry eyebrow and said "Alvaro...1. that's racist. 2. rude." Didn't matter..
The teacher in that class just wants me to speak with them in English so we were going over the words "always, never, I like, I'm good at"...etc. So I ask "what is something you always do?" Alvaro raises his hand (he always has to answer and he's always a smartass...we get along well...) and shouts "I always play tennis!!" (P.S. this is the kid who lied to me and told me that over our 4 day weekend he was travelling to the U.S. for a tennis camp...) I told him that was impossible and to think of something more specific so he wasn't lying. I love this class because I can usually be really sarcastic and witty and most of the time they pick up on it. So anyways we go on and I say "what is something you like?" Alvaro, of course, has to answer. "I like tennis!!" I said "no crap you like tennis, Alvaro, everyone knows that. Tell me something different." He says "I like (insert the name of some famous tennis player that I didn't know)" Who?? "uh, he is a famous tennis player" So I decided if he was going to be annoying I'd throw it back at him, so I say "oh, okay, so you like men?" and he goes excited "yes!! yes, I like men"
HAH. I died laughing and winked at him and said "ah, great Alvaro, you like men. Good", gave him the okay sign, and moved on. Approximately 3 seconds later he goes "CHELSEA CHELSEA, no!! eh, uh....I like men, yes, but no like men, no? How you say...uh....it's not what you think, see...". Haha. Gotcha, sucker!! He never did figure out how to say "I'm not gay" but, unfortunately for him, he didn't know that gay is gay in Spanish and English. Alvaro: 0. Chelsea: 1. Congratulations, Chels, you are smarter than a 6th grader, haha. This is what my world has come to.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Weekend of Misadventures
This Saturday I cooked dinner for 4 people and then the following Sunday made breakfast for 6 (kinda).
Look at me, I'm domestic!! :D
Thought the sheer epicness of this deserved its own blog post, all things considered. Plus it was the most productive thing I did all weekend.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Pop Quiz! What do you call someone who says "urinate" or "wee wee" instead of "going pee"?
Answer: hell if I know. Truthfully, there is no answer. It turns out that in teaching, there are a lot of questions without answers. I havve come to fear any question that begins with "How do you say...?" because of many, many awkward situations.
Example 1: Let's start with the blog title. In my class of 6th graders (this class knows the most English, which is great for me, but also a pain at the same time because they get cocky and ridiculous with it) we were reviewing the vocabulary for personal adjectives, such as kind, shy, bossy, confident, old, young, fat, thin, tall, short, etc. Then the kids wanted to know how to say "chulo". I don't even know what "chulo" means in Spanish. I've come to understand that "chulo" means cocky. THEN they wanted to know how to describe somebody that, "says 'urinate' instead of 'going pee' or 'taking a piss'..." ?? How is that a legit question?? I was completely confused. So I asked for them to elaborate. Here's their version of "elaborating": "You know, it's when a girl, instead of saying she has to pee, says "I have to wee wee" or "urinate".....you don't understand, Chelsea? Okay look. Urinate. (this is when they actually got out of their chairs to point to a conveniently located science poster) *points to bladder & urethra* see? Urinate. Like "pssssssssssssssssssssssss.....", jew know Chelsea?? How you say this?"
...WHAT?? Are you SERIOUS? (and seriously, were the SOUND EFFECTS necessary!?!)
So I asked them. "WHAT?? ARE YOU SERIOUS??" Turns out they genuinely wanted to know how to say that in Spanish. They weren't being total brats...the word in Spanish, apparently, is "fina". I think in English we would say "dainty" or ...well...I don't know. Somebody who is just very very well mannered? Regardless I don't understand why the group of 4 boys had to explain the adjective by continually referring to various idioms for urine but...I guess they're 6th grade boys.
Example #2: I teach private English lessons on Mondays and Wednesdays to a family that lives about 30 mins away. They live in a gated community (that has a pool and its own playground) that is super gorgeous and their apartment is incredible. Recently I found out that the dad, Miguel (funny right?) works for Coca Cola, which is why a.) they have their own personal nanny/housekeeper, b.) Coca Cola promotional gear is hidden all around the house, and c.) they always offer me a coke when I come over, haha. Anyways the kids are great and super sweet (one might think innocent)...but they're still normal kids so of course I'm bound to run into some situations. And I did, the third time I went over for tutoring. Miguel, their 11 year old son (funnier, right??) gets tutored for school in general for 45 minutes and then I tutor their two younger daughters Marina (7) and Julia (9) for 45 minutes together. Well, Marina is learning parts of the body at school but she only knows the basics like head, shoulders, knees, toes, eyes, mouth, nose. (if by now you've groaned, anticipating the awkward that is to come, good for you. Give yourself a pat on the back. Maybe YOU should be a teacher. I, on the other hand, walked right into this blindly like a deer in headlights). So we start practicing more in depth vocabulary. I started to make a list of words like wrist, ankle, cheeks, chin, forehead (tried to explain a five-head as a joke...didn't translate) eyelashes, eyelid, lips, tongue...(cringing yet? I still didn't see it)
Then I was blindsided. The 7 year old, Marina...little, innocent, kinda-cross eyed (but in a really cute way), missing her front teeth Marina asks out of nowhere (with a bit of a lisp) "an how you thay 'tetas??' "......??????? My eyes bulged out of my head. "How do you say tits?" Julia started giggling but still maintained her eye contact with me out of eagerness to know. I tried to recover and asked "um, isn't that a bad word??" And Julia told me matter-of-factly "well, no it's not a bad word. It's just...tetas. That's what they are". I am still trying to think of any 7 or 9 year old I know that would have the word "tits" just simply roll off their tongue. I'm inappropriate on many occassions and even I hate that word. I asked them "well...why didn't you say "pecho" then?" (that means "chest") Julia goes, "oooh.....well...I mean I guess you could. But tetas is still not a bad word." Fine fine, you win.
So I returned to our list of normal body parts when Julia interrupts and asks, "and this??" and points to her crotch. When did they turn from sweet little girls to such mischevious little brats? Plus, where do I even begin with that one? In English, you usually give little cutesy names for kids to use. So I asked Julia "well, tell me how to say it in Spanish and I'll tell you in English." She got all embarrassed and refused to say it....I was thinking 'well if you can't say it then you shouldn't expect me to tell you in English' but...I decided I would try to be "mature" and go ahead with it. So I told her to write it down if she wouldn't say it. So she starts writing "c...o...n..." when Marina (reminder: 7) yells "coño!!"
In English, that word starts with "c" and ends with "unt". It is, however, very typical to hear everywhere here. On TV, at school, everwhere. That, however, IS a bad word. Even here.
Julia immediately yells "NO!! Marina!! That is a bad word...I mean, that is one way to say it but that's not the word." Great. So Julia keeps writing "...c...h...i...t...a....there. Conchita" ??? Still confused I ask her "um, isn't that the name of a person?? Conchita?" Marina and Julia both burst out into fits of laughter and finally Julia tells me "oooooooh well I mean I have an Aunt Conchita, but it's not that kind of conchita" (Can you imagine being like "oh I have an Aunt Vagina, but it's not THAT kind of vagina"??? AHHH) So I tried to humor her when she tried to explain the origin of the word to me, which only made things worse. "Conchita...like...little concha, like the shell? They say that....IT....looks like a tiny shell."
I'm glad I got paid 25 euros for those 45 minutes of sheer, complete awkwardness. The last time I went over there I was like, "let's play Battleship, but in English". Much smoother.
So...to recap: Anytime I hear "How do you say...?" I pull out the "I don't speak Spanish" card. Because it's safer that way. Much safer.
The funny thing is that sometimes the kids don't ask enough questions. And they take the "no Spanish" rule a little too seriously.
Example: In class with the 1st graders one day, this little boy kept raising his hand and looked nervous. I kept calling on him. Alejandro? Yes? Do you have the answer? And he'd just sit there and stare at me. Then after waiting 30 seconds (30 agonizing seconds) he'd shake his head and look down. And as the questions went on, he got more and more anxious to answer the questions, waving his hand in the air screaming "yo yo yo yo yo!!!" (me me me me me!) and when I'd finally give in and say Alejandro, yes? he'd still just sit there and give me a blank stare. I tried to tell the class in general "it's good to raise your hands but if you don't know the answer, don't raise your hand" (I said it gently though...they're just 1st graders) this went on for 5 minutes and he kept raising his hand. Finally I stopped calling on him and blatantly ignored him. Finally he was squealing and squirming in his chair and disrupting the entire class, so I couldn't ignore him anymore. "Alejandro?? What??" (in Spanish, very quickly) "MAY I PLEASE GO TO THE BATHROOM??????" Isabel, the teacher, was like "yes, go go go..." then we ended up dying in a fit of laughter, realizing that whenever I called on him he didn't know how to ask to go to the bathroom in English, so he froze up and didn't know what to do. That kid FLEW out of the classroom. And by the time he came back we couldn't help but continue laughing again (at his expense) but he seemed to think he'd done something right so he looked proud. Congrats, kid, you made it to the toilet. Maybe someday you'll be the President of Spain!
Example 1: Let's start with the blog title. In my class of 6th graders (this class knows the most English, which is great for me, but also a pain at the same time because they get cocky and ridiculous with it) we were reviewing the vocabulary for personal adjectives, such as kind, shy, bossy, confident, old, young, fat, thin, tall, short, etc. Then the kids wanted to know how to say "chulo". I don't even know what "chulo" means in Spanish. I've come to understand that "chulo" means cocky. THEN they wanted to know how to describe somebody that, "says 'urinate' instead of 'going pee' or 'taking a piss'..." ?? How is that a legit question?? I was completely confused. So I asked for them to elaborate. Here's their version of "elaborating": "You know, it's when a girl, instead of saying she has to pee, says "I have to wee wee" or "urinate".....you don't understand, Chelsea? Okay look. Urinate. (this is when they actually got out of their chairs to point to a conveniently located science poster) *points to bladder & urethra* see? Urinate. Like "pssssssssssssssssssssssss.....", jew know Chelsea?? How you say this?"
...WHAT?? Are you SERIOUS? (and seriously, were the SOUND EFFECTS necessary!?!)
So I asked them. "WHAT?? ARE YOU SERIOUS??" Turns out they genuinely wanted to know how to say that in Spanish. They weren't being total brats...the word in Spanish, apparently, is "fina". I think in English we would say "dainty" or ...well...I don't know. Somebody who is just very very well mannered? Regardless I don't understand why the group of 4 boys had to explain the adjective by continually referring to various idioms for urine but...I guess they're 6th grade boys.
Example #2: I teach private English lessons on Mondays and Wednesdays to a family that lives about 30 mins away. They live in a gated community (that has a pool and its own playground) that is super gorgeous and their apartment is incredible. Recently I found out that the dad, Miguel (funny right?) works for Coca Cola, which is why a.) they have their own personal nanny/housekeeper, b.) Coca Cola promotional gear is hidden all around the house, and c.) they always offer me a coke when I come over, haha. Anyways the kids are great and super sweet (one might think innocent)...but they're still normal kids so of course I'm bound to run into some situations. And I did, the third time I went over for tutoring. Miguel, their 11 year old son (funnier, right??) gets tutored for school in general for 45 minutes and then I tutor their two younger daughters Marina (7) and Julia (9) for 45 minutes together. Well, Marina is learning parts of the body at school but she only knows the basics like head, shoulders, knees, toes, eyes, mouth, nose. (if by now you've groaned, anticipating the awkward that is to come, good for you. Give yourself a pat on the back. Maybe YOU should be a teacher. I, on the other hand, walked right into this blindly like a deer in headlights). So we start practicing more in depth vocabulary. I started to make a list of words like wrist, ankle, cheeks, chin, forehead (tried to explain a five-head as a joke...didn't translate) eyelashes, eyelid, lips, tongue...(cringing yet? I still didn't see it)
Then I was blindsided. The 7 year old, Marina...little, innocent, kinda-cross eyed (but in a really cute way), missing her front teeth Marina asks out of nowhere (with a bit of a lisp) "an how you thay 'tetas??' "......??????? My eyes bulged out of my head. "How do you say tits?" Julia started giggling but still maintained her eye contact with me out of eagerness to know. I tried to recover and asked "um, isn't that a bad word??" And Julia told me matter-of-factly "well, no it's not a bad word. It's just...tetas. That's what they are". I am still trying to think of any 7 or 9 year old I know that would have the word "tits" just simply roll off their tongue. I'm inappropriate on many occassions and even I hate that word. I asked them "well...why didn't you say "pecho" then?" (that means "chest") Julia goes, "oooh.....well...I mean I guess you could. But tetas is still not a bad word." Fine fine, you win.
So I returned to our list of normal body parts when Julia interrupts and asks, "and this??" and points to her crotch. When did they turn from sweet little girls to such mischevious little brats? Plus, where do I even begin with that one? In English, you usually give little cutesy names for kids to use. So I asked Julia "well, tell me how to say it in Spanish and I'll tell you in English." She got all embarrassed and refused to say it....I was thinking 'well if you can't say it then you shouldn't expect me to tell you in English' but...I decided I would try to be "mature" and go ahead with it. So I told her to write it down if she wouldn't say it. So she starts writing "c...o...n..." when Marina (reminder: 7) yells "coño!!"
In English, that word starts with "c" and ends with "unt". It is, however, very typical to hear everywhere here. On TV, at school, everwhere. That, however, IS a bad word. Even here.
Julia immediately yells "NO!! Marina!! That is a bad word...I mean, that is one way to say it but that's not the word." Great. So Julia keeps writing "...c...h...i...t...a....there. Conchita" ??? Still confused I ask her "um, isn't that the name of a person?? Conchita?" Marina and Julia both burst out into fits of laughter and finally Julia tells me "oooooooh well I mean I have an Aunt Conchita, but it's not that kind of conchita" (Can you imagine being like "oh I have an Aunt Vagina, but it's not THAT kind of vagina"??? AHHH) So I tried to humor her when she tried to explain the origin of the word to me, which only made things worse. "Conchita...like...little concha, like the shell? They say that....IT....looks like a tiny shell."
I'm glad I got paid 25 euros for those 45 minutes of sheer, complete awkwardness. The last time I went over there I was like, "let's play Battleship, but in English". Much smoother.
So...to recap: Anytime I hear "How do you say...?" I pull out the "I don't speak Spanish" card. Because it's safer that way. Much safer.
The funny thing is that sometimes the kids don't ask enough questions. And they take the "no Spanish" rule a little too seriously.
Example: In class with the 1st graders one day, this little boy kept raising his hand and looked nervous. I kept calling on him. Alejandro? Yes? Do you have the answer? And he'd just sit there and stare at me. Then after waiting 30 seconds (30 agonizing seconds) he'd shake his head and look down. And as the questions went on, he got more and more anxious to answer the questions, waving his hand in the air screaming "yo yo yo yo yo!!!" (me me me me me!) and when I'd finally give in and say Alejandro, yes? he'd still just sit there and give me a blank stare. I tried to tell the class in general "it's good to raise your hands but if you don't know the answer, don't raise your hand" (I said it gently though...they're just 1st graders) this went on for 5 minutes and he kept raising his hand. Finally I stopped calling on him and blatantly ignored him. Finally he was squealing and squirming in his chair and disrupting the entire class, so I couldn't ignore him anymore. "Alejandro?? What??" (in Spanish, very quickly) "MAY I PLEASE GO TO THE BATHROOM??????" Isabel, the teacher, was like "yes, go go go..." then we ended up dying in a fit of laughter, realizing that whenever I called on him he didn't know how to ask to go to the bathroom in English, so he froze up and didn't know what to do. That kid FLEW out of the classroom. And by the time he came back we couldn't help but continue laughing again (at his expense) but he seemed to think he'd done something right so he looked proud. Congrats, kid, you made it to the toilet. Maybe someday you'll be the President of Spain!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Aranjuez was a complete failure.
Sigh. Clearly I have so much to catch up on. This has been my first official full week of October (which means the kids have class in the afternoons, so my days now go from 9:30 a.m. to 5 p.m.) and frankly I'm surprised I didn't die of exhaust. However, this weekend is a four-day weekend (what the Spaniards call a "puente", literally "bridge") and I plan on sleeping A LOT. I have already done so. Actually, this morning I got up at 12:30 p.m., made breakfast (vanilla Special K with berries...the best cereal ever!!) got dressed, and ventured out into the pouring rain to go grocery shopping. (Actually I went to Corte Ingles, a huge department store with a grocery store inside of it, bought a bottle of dressing, and then walked around the 6 floors for awhile because it always reminds me of Christmas :) Then I went to the cheap store Dia to get veggies & milk). Got home by 3, made lunch, watched my favorite TV show Fisica o Quimica, and then somehow ended up napping around 8. Then I made a not-so-balanced dinner of PB&J, snow peas, a pear, and popcorn. OH and water. Because last Thursday I went to IKEA (I'm in love) and bought ice trays that are shaped like little fish & starfish. It makes ice so much more fun (and so much easier. Our ice trays that we bought from the chinos don't work for shit. Literally, there are currently 15 ice cubes sitting in there currently that will not come out. I banged those damned things on the counter, floor, doorway, and window. Nothing.)
I guess, basically, my point is that I didn't do anything today, and I absolutely love it. Especially because it's pouring outside. "The rain in Spain falls slowly on the plain." FALSE. Whoever said that was completely disillusioned. The rain in Spain falls at awkward angles and when it rains it does not do so slowly. It monsoons. Regardless of my umbrella, I was soaked when I got to the store. Slowly on the plain...liars!
Hmm, well let's see. Where to begin. Last Saturday I adventured to Aranjuez, a town about 45 minutes outside of Madrid that's literally in the middle of nowhere. I was hoping to find fall, and beautiful fall-y trees, but instead Kyle & Billy fought like a married couple over the topic of Billy's hair (and whether he was truly a ginger or not) and we threw Advil at an awkward fountain when we ran out of spare change (not that the fountain was running, anyways, haha...) It was kind of a failure all around but I still had a lot of fun and can't wait to go back near the end of October (because the leaves hadn't really changed yet). That weekend I also figured out how to make Cherry Coke here! (THANKS TO THE HELP OF KYLE NELSON, BECAUSE HE TOLD ME TO USE GRENADINE WITH DIET COKE...THANKS AGAIN KYLE!!!! YOU'RE A GENIUS!!) Happy Kyle? :) heh.
Here are some pictures from Aranjuez:
Well...I feel like writing anymore would be boring, plus I'm currently being terrified by Disney right now, because I'm watching Are You Afraid of the Dark all by myself...and as if the show is generally not scary enough, this episode is about a clown of some sort. I'm only continuing to watch it in the spirit of Halloween, and because I cannot watch Saw here. Any of the 6 (soon to be 7!) Enjoy the photos and I'll update soon on my last week of chaos!
I guess, basically, my point is that I didn't do anything today, and I absolutely love it. Especially because it's pouring outside. "The rain in Spain falls slowly on the plain." FALSE. Whoever said that was completely disillusioned. The rain in Spain falls at awkward angles and when it rains it does not do so slowly. It monsoons. Regardless of my umbrella, I was soaked when I got to the store. Slowly on the plain...liars!
Hmm, well let's see. Where to begin. Last Saturday I adventured to Aranjuez, a town about 45 minutes outside of Madrid that's literally in the middle of nowhere. I was hoping to find fall, and beautiful fall-y trees, but instead Kyle & Billy fought like a married couple over the topic of Billy's hair (and whether he was truly a ginger or not) and we threw Advil at an awkward fountain when we ran out of spare change (not that the fountain was running, anyways, haha...) It was kind of a failure all around but I still had a lot of fun and can't wait to go back near the end of October (because the leaves hadn't really changed yet). That weekend I also figured out how to make Cherry Coke here! (THANKS TO THE HELP OF KYLE NELSON, BECAUSE HE TOLD ME TO USE GRENADINE WITH DIET COKE...THANKS AGAIN KYLE!!!! YOU'RE A GENIUS!!) Happy Kyle? :) heh.
Here are some pictures from Aranjuez:
Well...I feel like writing anymore would be boring, plus I'm currently being terrified by Disney right now, because I'm watching Are You Afraid of the Dark all by myself...and as if the show is generally not scary enough, this episode is about a clown of some sort. I'm only continuing to watch it in the spirit of Halloween, and because I cannot watch Saw here. Any of the 6 (soon to be 7!) Enjoy the photos and I'll update soon on my last week of chaos!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Hooray for "Personal Days"!!
Yup, thank God the crap that's been making me sick hasn't stayed in the schools. Our prof for Teaching Methodology was sick today and cancelled class!! (Actually she just gave us a crap ton of reading for Thursday instead...thanks) I decided it was worthless to spend 2 hours travelling on the Metro (Jeri has made it quite clear that with the terrorist attacks in Europe I have no business dealing with the Metro...I should always stay above ground) for two hours of pointless, excruciating class. So yay personal day! I took a 3 hour nap and I might go grocery shopping in a bit...I'd say I've been productive :)
Well let's see. Last Wednesday was the General Strike (or Huelga General) in Spain. The government wants to raise the retirement age from 60 to 65, and I believe that Spain's unemployment rate is 19%. Therefore the Union workers are super pissed and organized a massive strike all throughout Spain. Success? No. None of the buses were running and the Metro was supposed to run at 20% but I heard that it was still very quick and ran almost normally. Apparently Spain had another strike back in June that was exponentially worse. I won't lie, the no-bus thing really sucked, but I was only 30 minutes late and the school was very forgiving, because they completely understood. I don't know the logistics of a strike, but I personally think that an underground strike would have been more successful. Spaniards are completely used to the strike thing so they had plenty of time to plan accordingly. If one day the buses and Metro just randomly didn't run, that'd de-rail the entire country. And THAT would be much more effective. There were a couple of bombings/car fires/what have you up north, but not too much excitement in Madrid, except for people who were armed with stickers & spray paint. Near my house at a bank somebody spray painted the outer wall with what I assume is a pig. I'll take a picture...the Strike proponents should work on their basic animal shapes haha. It kills me though because the buildings around here are all ancient so when bored antsy Union supporters get pissed off & decide to have a hay-day with spray paint, they're destroying the most gorgeous buildings. The buildings didn't up the retirement age....go spray paint the faces of the government workers instead.
(see, my thoughts like these are why I'm going into teaching. Or translating. Clearly legal matters aren't my forte)
Above you can see some pictures of the protesters the night before the General Strike. That night we had class out in BFE and afterwards was Fisica o Quimica, my favorite trashy Spanish TV show. I went to Ashley's apartment, which is right off of Sol, the heart of Madrid. Besides the fact that her apartment is badass, AND she has an oven (I have a "combination" microwave that is also a "grill"...and I use the term "grill" loosely because whenever I use the "grill" function the microwave actually elicits flames. Large flames. And as far as I know, no microwaves are supposed to deal with fire so...I've chosen to never use the flame function. Instead, I'll make/bake everything I need an oven for at Ashley's while having movie marathons (HALLOWEEN!!) or watching trashy TV). I was unaware, though, that the protesters would be practicing and getting pumped up in the plaza so...that was a very surprising addition to our TV night.
What else, what else. Well, for one I thought that my last two days of school would be easy because I didn't have class with Colonel Nun, therefore nothing TOO crazy could happen. That was dumb of me. On Monday I brought on the crazy myself. I was getting tired, and the students weren't paying attention...giving me the annoyed blank stare of death again. So I got a little cheeky with them and was like, "Seriously? Nobody knows? Alejandro, how old are you? *blank stare.* Alejandro...how OLD are you? *blank stare* Old. 1, 2, 3...? Alejandro? Roberto? Fernando? No? Okay then..." One of the kids tried to tell me in Spanish that his name was neither Roberto or Fernando. I tried to tell him it was a joke but he didn't get it. Clearly, they're 2nd graders. But then he was like "why?" I told him to ask Lady Gaga. Which then started a class discussion soley in Spanish about Lady Gaga and her songs that they know (well, in broken English). In hindsight I asked for that one. Then again how was I supposed to know they'd actually KNOW Lady Gaga?? They're like...7.
That wasn't the only time I slipped. I might have also been teaching colors to the same class and came across the color brown. I asked "what's an animal that is brown?" and one of the kids said beaver. (this isn't going where you think) Except in Spanish. I was like "yes! That's beaver. Can you say beaver? *no...* Beaver. Repeat, beaver. REPEAT. Beaver, like Justin Beiber. Yes?" Except I didn't exactly explain myself very well so now all thirty of my 2C class thinks that the cute teen star's name is Justin Beaver. He'll never find out, right?
But, besides those poor cultural references, I've been having a very awkward personal week with my kids. First of all, the kid 2 weeks ago who told me I was beautiful came up to my desk after class and did the same thing again. "Hello Chelsea!! Tee-chair, tee-chair, jew are bery be-yoo-teeful."...thanks, Jeremy, for being awkard again. Translation: "Aw, thank you Jeremy. Go stand in line!" But that wasn't the end of that. Later that day, I had 2C, the class of Lady Gaga and Justin Beaver. Afterwards I waited with them to walk down the stairs. One girl who refused to talk to me came up after class and kept trying to hold my hand (the students are VERY touchy here...which seems really weird to me but I've been trying to get used to it. I honestly think it's cute but I've been raised with that whole "don't touch teachers/students" thing so...it's hard to get past) But anyways I was like...what's the deal? Why wouldn't you talk AT ALL in class but now you want to hold my hand? I said "hello! how are you?" she turned to her friend, while still death-gripping my hand (well, 3 fingers) and whispered something in her ear. Her friend gave me a hug, then, and translated "Chelsea, jew are very boo-tee-ful, yes?" The mute friend was nodding her head enthusiastically. ......um....what the hell?? Have you been talking to Jeremy?? What'd he tell you?? That little brat. I don't know how to answer that, so I just said thank you. They kept staring up at me, smiling, studying me. I wanted to tell them "from your angle I'm guessing I'm not too flattering, eh?" but I assumed if they couldn't tell me their names, they wouldn't understand perspective and whatnot. Monday was an interesting day.
Then came today. Tuesday I have recess duty, and so does Juliet, my roommate, so we usually talk together in English and wait for one or two brave kids to come say hi. Two of her students came up and asked us in Spanish "tienes un tampon?" Since my oldest students are 13, it's not usually something that comes up. But I bought a cute case for my tampons before I left so I was like PERFECT occasion! So I start looking in my purse and getting one out but the girl looks completely confused. That's when she shows us a massive hole she ripped in her skirt and motions that she needs something to keep it together. Turns out the word tampon, in Spanish, means safety pin. Ooopsies. So Juliet went off with the girl to find a safety pin and I hung around my students because they know me and treat me like a celebrity, haha. So all of a sudden five different girls come running up to me....CHELSEA!!! CHELSEA!!! Hello!! Hello!! So I talk to them for a bit even though I only recognized 3. The other 2 I haven't even met yet because I won't have had their class until tomorrow for the first time. I think it's super cute though. One girl kept asking "Chelsea, how long are you here? Are you here forever?" Haha! Forever is a long time...I told her I didn't know yet. Then, after that, two more boys came up (from the class I haven't met yet) and started talking to me as well. One of them (that does not know me) looks at my hair, tries to touch it (but I'm too tall), and says "I like jour hair." Then one of the other girls says "jes jes!! Jew are bery be-yoo-teeful." JEREMY, THAT LITTLE SLUG. I'mma kill em. I laughed and said "well...thank you?" and one of the other girls was apalled that I didn't seem that sure. She said, "Jes jes, jew are!! And jour eyes. What colour are jour eyes?" I don't know? Brown? Hazel? Depends on what I'm wearing? "Um...I don't know?" "Well, dey are bery be-yoo-teeful. I like jour eyes!!" ...???
I guess I look very different from most Spaniards. I've yet to see one person that could pass as "naturally blonde"...but there are quite a few blue-eyed Spanish boys around here (that aren't dating my teachers). Juliet went on a date with one the other night & didn't like him so she's considering giving him my number, haha. He's 31 & bald, though, so I don't know if I really want to bark up that tree, haha.
Tomorrow is one of my long days...and when I say long day, I mean long long long day. I go at 9:30 and won't get home until 9:30 at night :/ Erg. I also have 2 classes tomorrow with Colonel Nun. I am just going to let things be and see how it goes....we're learning the subjects tomorrow so I'm interested in seeing how her recent Sean Connery accent with her s's will affect the student's comprehension and pronunciation. "Yesh, shtudents, Shpanish. English. Mooshic. Shi, shi, yesh." Bring it on, Sean!!
Well let's see. Last Wednesday was the General Strike (or Huelga General) in Spain. The government wants to raise the retirement age from 60 to 65, and I believe that Spain's unemployment rate is 19%. Therefore the Union workers are super pissed and organized a massive strike all throughout Spain. Success? No. None of the buses were running and the Metro was supposed to run at 20% but I heard that it was still very quick and ran almost normally. Apparently Spain had another strike back in June that was exponentially worse. I won't lie, the no-bus thing really sucked, but I was only 30 minutes late and the school was very forgiving, because they completely understood. I don't know the logistics of a strike, but I personally think that an underground strike would have been more successful. Spaniards are completely used to the strike thing so they had plenty of time to plan accordingly. If one day the buses and Metro just randomly didn't run, that'd de-rail the entire country. And THAT would be much more effective. There were a couple of bombings/car fires/what have you up north, but not too much excitement in Madrid, except for people who were armed with stickers & spray paint. Near my house at a bank somebody spray painted the outer wall with what I assume is a pig. I'll take a picture...the Strike proponents should work on their basic animal shapes haha. It kills me though because the buildings around here are all ancient so when bored antsy Union supporters get pissed off & decide to have a hay-day with spray paint, they're destroying the most gorgeous buildings. The buildings didn't up the retirement age....go spray paint the faces of the government workers instead.
(see, my thoughts like these are why I'm going into teaching. Or translating. Clearly legal matters aren't my forte)
Above you can see some pictures of the protesters the night before the General Strike. That night we had class out in BFE and afterwards was Fisica o Quimica, my favorite trashy Spanish TV show. I went to Ashley's apartment, which is right off of Sol, the heart of Madrid. Besides the fact that her apartment is badass, AND she has an oven (I have a "combination" microwave that is also a "grill"...and I use the term "grill" loosely because whenever I use the "grill" function the microwave actually elicits flames. Large flames. And as far as I know, no microwaves are supposed to deal with fire so...I've chosen to never use the flame function. Instead, I'll make/bake everything I need an oven for at Ashley's while having movie marathons (HALLOWEEN!!) or watching trashy TV). I was unaware, though, that the protesters would be practicing and getting pumped up in the plaza so...that was a very surprising addition to our TV night.
What else, what else. Well, for one I thought that my last two days of school would be easy because I didn't have class with Colonel Nun, therefore nothing TOO crazy could happen. That was dumb of me. On Monday I brought on the crazy myself. I was getting tired, and the students weren't paying attention...giving me the annoyed blank stare of death again. So I got a little cheeky with them and was like, "Seriously? Nobody knows? Alejandro, how old are you? *blank stare.* Alejandro...how OLD are you? *blank stare* Old. 1, 2, 3...? Alejandro? Roberto? Fernando? No? Okay then..." One of the kids tried to tell me in Spanish that his name was neither Roberto or Fernando. I tried to tell him it was a joke but he didn't get it. Clearly, they're 2nd graders. But then he was like "why?" I told him to ask Lady Gaga. Which then started a class discussion soley in Spanish about Lady Gaga and her songs that they know (well, in broken English). In hindsight I asked for that one. Then again how was I supposed to know they'd actually KNOW Lady Gaga?? They're like...7.
That wasn't the only time I slipped. I might have also been teaching colors to the same class and came across the color brown. I asked "what's an animal that is brown?" and one of the kids said beaver. (this isn't going where you think) Except in Spanish. I was like "yes! That's beaver. Can you say beaver? *no...* Beaver. Repeat, beaver. REPEAT. Beaver, like Justin Beiber. Yes?" Except I didn't exactly explain myself very well so now all thirty of my 2C class thinks that the cute teen star's name is Justin Beaver. He'll never find out, right?
But, besides those poor cultural references, I've been having a very awkward personal week with my kids. First of all, the kid 2 weeks ago who told me I was beautiful came up to my desk after class and did the same thing again. "Hello Chelsea!! Tee-chair, tee-chair, jew are bery be-yoo-teeful."...thanks, Jeremy, for being awkard again. Translation: "Aw, thank you Jeremy. Go stand in line!" But that wasn't the end of that. Later that day, I had 2C, the class of Lady Gaga and Justin Beaver. Afterwards I waited with them to walk down the stairs. One girl who refused to talk to me came up after class and kept trying to hold my hand (the students are VERY touchy here...which seems really weird to me but I've been trying to get used to it. I honestly think it's cute but I've been raised with that whole "don't touch teachers/students" thing so...it's hard to get past) But anyways I was like...what's the deal? Why wouldn't you talk AT ALL in class but now you want to hold my hand? I said "hello! how are you?" she turned to her friend, while still death-gripping my hand (well, 3 fingers) and whispered something in her ear. Her friend gave me a hug, then, and translated "Chelsea, jew are very boo-tee-ful, yes?" The mute friend was nodding her head enthusiastically. ......um....what the hell?? Have you been talking to Jeremy?? What'd he tell you?? That little brat. I don't know how to answer that, so I just said thank you. They kept staring up at me, smiling, studying me. I wanted to tell them "from your angle I'm guessing I'm not too flattering, eh?" but I assumed if they couldn't tell me their names, they wouldn't understand perspective and whatnot. Monday was an interesting day.
Then came today. Tuesday I have recess duty, and so does Juliet, my roommate, so we usually talk together in English and wait for one or two brave kids to come say hi. Two of her students came up and asked us in Spanish "tienes un tampon?" Since my oldest students are 13, it's not usually something that comes up. But I bought a cute case for my tampons before I left so I was like PERFECT occasion! So I start looking in my purse and getting one out but the girl looks completely confused. That's when she shows us a massive hole she ripped in her skirt and motions that she needs something to keep it together. Turns out the word tampon, in Spanish, means safety pin. Ooopsies. So Juliet went off with the girl to find a safety pin and I hung around my students because they know me and treat me like a celebrity, haha. So all of a sudden five different girls come running up to me....CHELSEA!!! CHELSEA!!! Hello!! Hello!! So I talk to them for a bit even though I only recognized 3. The other 2 I haven't even met yet because I won't have had their class until tomorrow for the first time. I think it's super cute though. One girl kept asking "Chelsea, how long are you here? Are you here forever?" Haha! Forever is a long time...I told her I didn't know yet. Then, after that, two more boys came up (from the class I haven't met yet) and started talking to me as well. One of them (that does not know me) looks at my hair, tries to touch it (but I'm too tall), and says "I like jour hair." Then one of the other girls says "jes jes!! Jew are bery be-yoo-teeful." JEREMY, THAT LITTLE SLUG. I'mma kill em. I laughed and said "well...thank you?" and one of the other girls was apalled that I didn't seem that sure. She said, "Jes jes, jew are!! And jour eyes. What colour are jour eyes?" I don't know? Brown? Hazel? Depends on what I'm wearing? "Um...I don't know?" "Well, dey are bery be-yoo-teeful. I like jour eyes!!" ...???
I guess I look very different from most Spaniards. I've yet to see one person that could pass as "naturally blonde"...but there are quite a few blue-eyed Spanish boys around here (that aren't dating my teachers). Juliet went on a date with one the other night & didn't like him so she's considering giving him my number, haha. He's 31 & bald, though, so I don't know if I really want to bark up that tree, haha.
Tomorrow is one of my long days...and when I say long day, I mean long long long day. I go at 9:30 and won't get home until 9:30 at night :/ Erg. I also have 2 classes tomorrow with Colonel Nun. I am just going to let things be and see how it goes....we're learning the subjects tomorrow so I'm interested in seeing how her recent Sean Connery accent with her s's will affect the student's comprehension and pronunciation. "Yesh, shtudents, Shpanish. English. Mooshic. Shi, shi, yesh." Bring it on, Sean!!
Friday, October 1, 2010
Finally, here comes the sun! (doo doo doo doo)
Figuratively, not literally. Actually the sun ALWAYS shines in Spain. We hardly ever get rain (although I will say that a.) I probably just jinxed myself hardcore and b.) when it does rain, it monsoons. And the streets flood. I'm not looking forward to that part).
But honestly, today was supposed to be the worst day ever, and it's been bearable. Actually it's been more than bearable, it's been ENJOYABLE.
Here's my schedule:
Monday: Class from 9:30 to 1, then 3-5. Then starting next Monday, private classes from 6-8.
Tuesday: Class from 9:30 to 11:30, recess duty til 12, then Master's classes 4-8:30.
Wednesday: Same as Monday. Private classes as well.
Thursday: Class from 10:30 to 11:30, then Master's classes from 4-8:30. (this is my best day)
Friday: Class from 9:30 to 1, then 3-5.
Can you see how I have NO free time?! I have a 2 hour break for lunch there (it's the Spanish siesta time) except that doesn't give me enough time to go home, eat/nap, then come back. And because it's called siesta, I find it quite unfair that I can't nap. If I figure out how to say "cot" in Spanish, I might ask to put one in the teacher's lounge and request quiet time between 1-3 respectively. (kidding, I would never have the nerve) But it would be nice...I love naps.
Last night, during my Master's classes, I felt super sick (so sick I turned down an exploring adventure of the massive mall with IKEA...it was that bad). I was really worried that by morning it would turn into a full blown cold that would last forever. Probably because Jeri yelled at me on the phone about getting enough sleep. Anyways I took some Tylenol PM and unfortunately that was the night my roommies decided to have 2 girls from class over to have dinner (at 11:45 pm) and hang out. LUCKILY, though, I downloaded the Rock-a-bye CD's (popular rock songs turned to lullabies...Cloe you know what I'm talking about!!) and made a short playlist. It worked like a dream!! Nothing says "peace & quiet" like the best of Queen played on a marimba, I tell ya.
See? So peaceful! Although I do catch myself singing my own version of the words at times.
So anyways I got a great night's sleep (except for one nightmare I had...I have GOT to stop using my light-up pumpkin as a night light. I have the most bizarre dreams, but I love that damned pumpkin so much. Jeri gave it to me as a gift, so it's even more special. It just haunts my dreams, that's all...) and when I woke up I felt 20 times better! I still feel a little under the weather but in comparison to last night, it's infinitely better. I think it's a vitamin C pill I took. It tasted like Flintstones vitamins from when I was 5 but...worked! Yabba dabba dooooooooo.
Okay, back to today. I was 5 minutes late to school but my teachers are so sweet they didn't care. With my first graders this past week I have been struggling...and I mean torturously struggling, to teach them how to answer me in complete sentences. How old are you? 7. No.......I am 7 years old. *blank stare.* Repeat...I am 7 years old. *annoyed silent stare* That's when I give up. But today the class was INCREDIBLE. They started using complete sentences and because I was so thrilled with their progress (and the fact they didn't make me feel like a complete moron because 30 7-year olds were staring and judging me) I let them sing a song for the last 10 minutes. The song is only 1 minute long, though...so that got a little bit out of control. Let me explain how. First, this is the song:
Okay? So it's easy to learn (just listen to it twice, you'll have it memorized). Which is good, because they're singing. But somehow singing the song and dancing a little turned into a full blown mosh pit of 7 year olds pushing each other around and jumping up and down in unison making the floor shake. Oops. How did that even happen with the innocent little rainbow song?!? I still don't know. But it was definitely a mosh pit. Every kid was jumping up and down and bodyslamming the other kids, using their bodies as bumpers and flinging themselves into another unsuspecting victim, who was also doing the same thing. Therefore we ended class 5 minutes early. (yay!) Note: when it doubt, mosh pit out.
Then, during recess the teachers who don't have recess duty usually go get coffee. Or smoke. Most of my teachers smoke...so I figured they didn't go for coffee. BUT today Eva (my teacher I thought didn't like me) invited me for coffee (yay!) She also invited Ivan, the sexy blue-eyed teacher (that doesn't talk to me). I was stoked. Except Ivan STILL wasn't talking to me, and I started realizing that Eva and Ivan are potentially dating and living together. Crap. They were sharing cigarettes, talking about how they got home during the strike the other day (that's a whole other blogpost later) and shared money at the bar. Double crap. BUT I found out why Ivan doesn't talk to me! Turns out it's not because of my undeniable charm & good looks (unfortunately...although Eva is cute as crap) but instead he thought I only speak English. Therefore he's been avoiding me like the plague because he's embarrassed he doesn't speak a word of English. His response when he found out? *jaw drops* JODER TIA, you speak Spanish!?? I had no idea!!! So sorry I've never spoken to you before, I had no clue!!" heh. It's okay Ivan, menos mal, the temptation would have been too much, I'm sure. (joke...)
Sigh. So the hot teacher is dating one of my teachers. Fair enough, I think that happens a lot, actually, because all of the teachers are super young (mid to late 20's...maybe MAYBE early 30's) and super attractive. Plenty of fish in the sea, though. I'm just excited that everyone found out today I speak Spanish because now they'll be friends with me! They're all so nice, though, and always willing to help me out (because our school layout is less than stranger-friendly). So they see little Chelsea wondering around and always "carry me" to my next class (it's a very common mistranslation to English, but I think it's cute so I always ask them to carry me anyways) Yay!
Colonel Nun's class was eye-opening as always, though. Somehow, between Wednesday and today, she has developed a problem with her S's. Instead of saying "yes" she is saying "yesh". Or "she eesh ungry."
If you've been reading my previous posts...then you know that this OF COURSE leads to pronunciation problems and mis-pronunciation of various important words. Important words that, when pronounced incorrectly, sound offensive.
Colonel Nun: BABIES!! Look (said like Luke), looook at jour peektures. What do jew see? Come on!! Come on now!! Shee dat pirate? What's dat? How duz dat pirate feed? Jesh, how does dees pirate feed? (feel) He is shat, yesh. And dees pirate? How do shee feel? She eesh thirshty. Yes.
Shat?? Since when is shat a feeling?! I immediately flipped through my new teacher's book (I finally told her my book was in Catalan...she thought that was a hoot. Truly. I've never seen her laugh harder...but she got me a new one in Spanish) and searched for the picture. Then I realized "shat" was sad. He was SAD. Geez. The only resource that class has to give them any hope are the audio CD's that have listening activities...and even those are RIDICULOUS. First of all, the speakers have a heavy British accent. Second of all, the British accent hinders that comprehension of the words. Example: "Look at the picture. What do you see? Cat. Dog. Parrot. Too-tuss. Rabbit. Hampstuh. Snake."
Tootus?? WHAT. Immediately started flipping through my book again to see what on earth a tootus is...tortoise. Tortoise. Right. Why don't that just teach the word turtle anyways?? Lord. And hampstuh. That one is just funny. P.S. I found a pet store!! I can buy myself a hampstuh for 7 euros. The guy at the pet store told me he had one that was "white like the snow". How could I NOT get it?? I might even name it Snow White. Maybe :) Maybe I'll just name it Blanca...if it's a girl. I might have to research hampstuh gender identification.
Well, it's getting close to time to go back to school...during my lunch break today I've been at the cafe. It's been lovely up until now, when KissTV (a rival of MTV) is playing an Elvis-esque cover of Snow Patrol's Chasing Cars...it's like a completely backwards cover. It sounds like it's from the 50's. Ugh. Murder. To give a look into the randomness that is KissTV, they played One Headlight (Wallflowers), Usher's new single, Ke$ha's Take It Off, and now this 50's B.S. I will never understand.
All I can say, though, is that I hope my classes go quickly, instead of dragging on like they usually do. Like a tootus, maybe.
But honestly, today was supposed to be the worst day ever, and it's been bearable. Actually it's been more than bearable, it's been ENJOYABLE.
Here's my schedule:
Monday: Class from 9:30 to 1, then 3-5. Then starting next Monday, private classes from 6-8.
Tuesday: Class from 9:30 to 11:30, recess duty til 12, then Master's classes 4-8:30.
Wednesday: Same as Monday. Private classes as well.
Thursday: Class from 10:30 to 11:30, then Master's classes from 4-8:30. (this is my best day)
Friday: Class from 9:30 to 1, then 3-5.
Can you see how I have NO free time?! I have a 2 hour break for lunch there (it's the Spanish siesta time) except that doesn't give me enough time to go home, eat/nap, then come back. And because it's called siesta, I find it quite unfair that I can't nap. If I figure out how to say "cot" in Spanish, I might ask to put one in the teacher's lounge and request quiet time between 1-3 respectively. (kidding, I would never have the nerve) But it would be nice...I love naps.
Last night, during my Master's classes, I felt super sick (so sick I turned down an exploring adventure of the massive mall with IKEA...it was that bad). I was really worried that by morning it would turn into a full blown cold that would last forever. Probably because Jeri yelled at me on the phone about getting enough sleep. Anyways I took some Tylenol PM and unfortunately that was the night my roommies decided to have 2 girls from class over to have dinner (at 11:45 pm) and hang out. LUCKILY, though, I downloaded the Rock-a-bye CD's (popular rock songs turned to lullabies...Cloe you know what I'm talking about!!) and made a short playlist. It worked like a dream!! Nothing says "peace & quiet" like the best of Queen played on a marimba, I tell ya.
See? So peaceful! Although I do catch myself singing my own version of the words at times.
So anyways I got a great night's sleep (except for one nightmare I had...I have GOT to stop using my light-up pumpkin as a night light. I have the most bizarre dreams, but I love that damned pumpkin so much. Jeri gave it to me as a gift, so it's even more special. It just haunts my dreams, that's all...) and when I woke up I felt 20 times better! I still feel a little under the weather but in comparison to last night, it's infinitely better. I think it's a vitamin C pill I took. It tasted like Flintstones vitamins from when I was 5 but...worked! Yabba dabba dooooooooo.
Okay, back to today. I was 5 minutes late to school but my teachers are so sweet they didn't care. With my first graders this past week I have been struggling...and I mean torturously struggling, to teach them how to answer me in complete sentences. How old are you? 7. No.......I am 7 years old. *blank stare.* Repeat...I am 7 years old. *annoyed silent stare* That's when I give up. But today the class was INCREDIBLE. They started using complete sentences and because I was so thrilled with their progress (and the fact they didn't make me feel like a complete moron because 30 7-year olds were staring and judging me) I let them sing a song for the last 10 minutes. The song is only 1 minute long, though...so that got a little bit out of control. Let me explain how. First, this is the song:
Okay? So it's easy to learn (just listen to it twice, you'll have it memorized). Which is good, because they're singing. But somehow singing the song and dancing a little turned into a full blown mosh pit of 7 year olds pushing each other around and jumping up and down in unison making the floor shake. Oops. How did that even happen with the innocent little rainbow song?!? I still don't know. But it was definitely a mosh pit. Every kid was jumping up and down and bodyslamming the other kids, using their bodies as bumpers and flinging themselves into another unsuspecting victim, who was also doing the same thing. Therefore we ended class 5 minutes early. (yay!) Note: when it doubt, mosh pit out.
Then, during recess the teachers who don't have recess duty usually go get coffee. Or smoke. Most of my teachers smoke...so I figured they didn't go for coffee. BUT today Eva (my teacher I thought didn't like me) invited me for coffee (yay!) She also invited Ivan, the sexy blue-eyed teacher (that doesn't talk to me). I was stoked. Except Ivan STILL wasn't talking to me, and I started realizing that Eva and Ivan are potentially dating and living together. Crap. They were sharing cigarettes, talking about how they got home during the strike the other day (that's a whole other blogpost later) and shared money at the bar. Double crap. BUT I found out why Ivan doesn't talk to me! Turns out it's not because of my undeniable charm & good looks (unfortunately...although Eva is cute as crap) but instead he thought I only speak English. Therefore he's been avoiding me like the plague because he's embarrassed he doesn't speak a word of English. His response when he found out? *jaw drops* JODER TIA, you speak Spanish!?? I had no idea!!! So sorry I've never spoken to you before, I had no clue!!" heh. It's okay Ivan, menos mal, the temptation would have been too much, I'm sure. (joke...)
Sigh. So the hot teacher is dating one of my teachers. Fair enough, I think that happens a lot, actually, because all of the teachers are super young (mid to late 20's...maybe MAYBE early 30's) and super attractive. Plenty of fish in the sea, though. I'm just excited that everyone found out today I speak Spanish because now they'll be friends with me! They're all so nice, though, and always willing to help me out (because our school layout is less than stranger-friendly). So they see little Chelsea wondering around and always "carry me" to my next class (it's a very common mistranslation to English, but I think it's cute so I always ask them to carry me anyways) Yay!
Colonel Nun's class was eye-opening as always, though. Somehow, between Wednesday and today, she has developed a problem with her S's. Instead of saying "yes" she is saying "yesh". Or "she eesh ungry."
If you've been reading my previous posts...then you know that this OF COURSE leads to pronunciation problems and mis-pronunciation of various important words. Important words that, when pronounced incorrectly, sound offensive.
Colonel Nun: BABIES!! Look (said like Luke), looook at jour peektures. What do jew see? Come on!! Come on now!! Shee dat pirate? What's dat? How duz dat pirate feed? Jesh, how does dees pirate feed? (feel) He is shat, yesh. And dees pirate? How do shee feel? She eesh thirshty. Yes.
Shat?? Since when is shat a feeling?! I immediately flipped through my new teacher's book (I finally told her my book was in Catalan...she thought that was a hoot. Truly. I've never seen her laugh harder...but she got me a new one in Spanish) and searched for the picture. Then I realized "shat" was sad. He was SAD. Geez. The only resource that class has to give them any hope are the audio CD's that have listening activities...and even those are RIDICULOUS. First of all, the speakers have a heavy British accent. Second of all, the British accent hinders that comprehension of the words. Example: "Look at the picture. What do you see? Cat. Dog. Parrot. Too-tuss. Rabbit. Hampstuh. Snake."
Tootus?? WHAT. Immediately started flipping through my book again to see what on earth a tootus is...tortoise. Tortoise. Right. Why don't that just teach the word turtle anyways?? Lord. And hampstuh. That one is just funny. P.S. I found a pet store!! I can buy myself a hampstuh for 7 euros. The guy at the pet store told me he had one that was "white like the snow". How could I NOT get it?? I might even name it Snow White. Maybe :) Maybe I'll just name it Blanca...if it's a girl. I might have to research hampstuh gender identification.
Well, it's getting close to time to go back to school...during my lunch break today I've been at the cafe. It's been lovely up until now, when KissTV (a rival of MTV) is playing an Elvis-esque cover of Snow Patrol's Chasing Cars...it's like a completely backwards cover. It sounds like it's from the 50's. Ugh. Murder. To give a look into the randomness that is KissTV, they played One Headlight (Wallflowers), Usher's new single, Ke$ha's Take It Off, and now this 50's B.S. I will never understand.
All I can say, though, is that I hope my classes go quickly, instead of dragging on like they usually do. Like a tootus, maybe.
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