Hi, world! Sorry it's been so long...I failed at my "more blogging" New Year's resolution last year and I'm not doing fantastic with it this year...but hopefully that will change! Starting..........
......now!
I've been really busy ever since I got back from Christmas vacation and haven't had a chance to relax. School has been exhausting (at least once a week I have given up to stare at the ceiling and mutter "I am transcending the situation"...the kids giggle and say "Chelsea, you're so funny!" And I smile and tell them they make me want to drink and they look at each other and say, "...what'd she say?? I dunno..." And we move on. I've found great peace though this technique.)
I'm only able to write this currently because I'm skipping my private class and having a personal day. Ever since I've gotten back I've had numerous medical kerfuffles and my weeks are packed with appointment after doctor's appointment for something or another. This, by the way, is where the "too much information" part of the title kicks in. If you wish to skip to Valentine's Day, see below.
My medical problems are not severe but simply severely annoying. I pulled a muscle in my neck back in October and I've had back/neck pain ever since. I finally got called to go to physical therapy after Christmas and I've been going every day. I was initially sent for 10 sessions but they upped it to 20 and as of today they sent me 10 more. Every day I get a massage or the therapist puts me in a headlock and pulls my head as far as he can without snapping it off my shoulders (although I swear he's often tiptoed the line). The only downside of PT is that I have to leave school 15 minutes early every day to arrive on time. That being said I'm getting 30 hours of therapy and massages every other day for free. No complaints! Most of the PT patients are old as sin as well so I often like to pretend, mentally, that I'm in a live episode of the Golden Girls. They complain about cell phones and credit cards and how cold the gel is from the machines and I smile and nod because they assume the foreigner doesn't understand diddly. It's nice.
My other medical issue is less glamorous. But by now I have absolutely no shame so I don't mind sharing my details if you all are so inclined to know. Ever since Christmas I have had what appears to be a yeast infection that doesn't want to respond to medicine. As if that weren't bad enough, the waiting list for a gynecologist in Spain is over a month long. Apparently private gynecologists are like the high-end Hollywood day spas of Spain or something. I hate speaking on the phone in Spanish but I've quickly gotten over that fear after calling literally twenty or more gynos trying to get an appointment. I got lucky and found a woman who had one time open the day I got back from America. I went and things were decently normal until she told me to take off my clothes and sit on the table. In my experience in America the doctor usually leaves the room to give you time to slip out of your clothes and then you hop on the bed and put a gown over/on you. I am not in America. Not only did I have to free-ball it and drop trow in front of her but there was also no sheet for me to cover with so I was told to just lay down spread eagle and wait for her to come in. What a lovely welcome for her, right?? But she was a her and that made me comfortable. She sent me with some meds and on my way. When the meds didn't work I had to call again and she, along with every other female doctor in Spain was booked through March. I had to cave and call a male doctor. He was nice and really old which oddly made me feel more at ease and he had a nice assistant who helped me feel more comfortable. She at least gave me a sheet to cover up with while waiting. Another odd occurrence in Spain is that your own doctors don't do very many tests themselves. They usually give you a slip and send you to the hospital to do it. Then you bring the results back to the doctors and they translate the legal jargon for you. He sent me for a test since the medicine wasn't working and told me to come back with the results. I couldn't do the test for a week for whatever scheduling reasons so in he mean time I went to a free clinic to see if I could get any answers any faster. Of course the day I went was the day that the med students were shadowing so not only did I have to expose myself to yet another strange doctor, but THREE at the same time, one a little teeny bopper student who was younger than I am and ogling my lady bits. She, in the end, was quite nice but I still didn't enjoy the experience. After that they sent me for a urine sample AT&T he hospital and that was a whole other clusterf*^%. I arrive at the office and give them my slip. The woman asks me if I brought the urine and I look down and say, confusedly, "yes...it's inside of me?" She looks horrified and then explains that I have to bring it to them because the first "pee pee" of the morning is the most concentrated. Then it was my turn to look horrified and start wondering how the hell I was supposed to collect and transport it. I had decided between a ziplock back and and old jelly jar when I finally decided to get over it and ask. "So um, by the way, how am I supposed to, you know...bring the urine?" (LEGITIMATE QUESTION RIGHT?? I mean if they're not gonna do it there...) Is wear she looked at me like she was on Candid Camera and then finally answered, "oh, you have to get a sterile container from the Pharmacy. They'll know exactly what it is." I almost died of embarrassment on the way home, picturing myself arriving at the hospital with an old Smuckers jar full of my pee and the nurse judging the shit out of me for being such a moron. I swear sometimes the Spanish health system is designed to mortify people. For the record I've been told by now I'm in the clear, just FYI, but it hasn't been a pleasant month.
VALENTINE'S DAY: Valentine's Day actually ended up being really nice but had its own hiccups along the way as well. I feel like this post has gotten long enough, though, so I'll detail that at a later date. Until then!
